Tiny house as a first home solution for my son?

[JasperFrank]

As much as I don't like codes, the tiny house concept is just a way around those rules as they now stand. People will play off the idea that they are space efficient and all that, but the REAL selling point is that they are under the square footage for anything we have land use laws for in most jurisdictions. So, you might think it good for a AUD, for a relative, but your neighbor can look at these and just set up a group of Airbnbs, or longer term rentals. I've seen this happen in Oregon in several places, ... places that quickly turned in to free for all horror shows.

 

[dieselcrawler]

I like the tiny house concept and I think would hold their value and could be sold later or as someone mentioned moved to your son's property you sell him later.

As someone who lives next to his in-laws, since 2014, let me give you a few pointers that will help them not hate living next to you.
1. resist the urge to just "stop by" even though it will be very convenient for you to do, make this a rarity.
2. If you need to stop by, text them and ask them if it is a good time. If you stop by make it short.
3. Don't ask them who they have over if you see cars. Don't expect an invite if they have family, you don't always have to be invited.
4. Don't just do things to or in their yard thinking they will appreciate it without asking first.
5. Ask them if they want things done in general, don't just do it. As soon as you sell them your land it is theirs.
6. Even if you need their help for a little while, try and give them some notice unless it is a real pressing thing. Don't expect them to drop everything to be at your beckoned call since they are close.
7. Don't guilt them for not seeing you as much as you think they should since they are so close. Try to go a month or so without even seeing them for a while. Make your wife do the same thing. Trust me, they will come around when they want/need to.

Ask me why I can list these out so specifically. My FIL has been dead since Oct. 2020 and now my wife and I maintain both properties, MIL and ours (MIL still mows hers for the most part). We don't mind but after FIL passed we realized he was the one who honored our privacy and the MIL was only held at bay by him.

The first few months it was boundary setting time for her, she would have been at our house every night had we let her. She would just come over and open our garage door and start rapping on the back door unannounced and uninvited. Once was at a particularly bad time if you know what I mean : )

That has all stopped because we put a stop to all of it. My wife literally has to treat her like a child (77 years old) she has mental issues. But the flip side can be very good. For years my FIL and I cooperated on doing things, he would ask my help I would ask his and we would have them over to sit around fires and things.

Now we watch out for the MIL, amazing how many people think a widow is an easy target to ask things of. We have her pretty much directing all people asking her things to us. She has no ability to say no to anyone and people will use you up when they figure that out.

It can have a lot of upside to it but you have to respect that they will need space from you both.

Edit: I should ad that we were married and lived 40 minutes away from the in-laws for the first 24 years of our marriage. The kids were grown and gone when we moved next to them. I think it would not have been a happy ending had we moved there when we were first married. I won't get into the details of that.

Excellent post... many of the points made are EXACTLY why my wife and our kids can't live near either of our parents.

 

[old and tired]

Regarding a travel trailer solution: How's winter life in one of those? We're in a relatively mild climate, but we still get 20 to 30 degree weather here a couple of months of the year.

With electric power and electric oil heaters, not bad. If the propane furnace kicks on, it's loud and you wake up for a bit. It's tight quarters for extended periods of time but no worst than a tiny home. We had front, middle and a back section to our camper... depends on the layout and if they are not married yet, it will seal the deal (so to speak... one way or another.)

 

[4570Man]

Let them rent somewhere and start their life without your help. It is time for them to be on their own and learn how to survive. You can still help them and support them but they need to figure it out on their own. Once the land is out of conservation they can decide whether or not to build a house on the land. This gives the both of you time to figure out a more permanent solution. A lot can happen/change in a few years.

There’s nothing wrong with helping your kids as long as you aren’t enabling bad habits. It’s a different world now than what you grew up in.

 

[IndyIan]

Buying a tiny house seems to be pretty close to a down payment on a full size house, so you might just want to give them the down payment on a mortgage for a house they want? Then there is no rent being paid, and nothing built on your property for them, and you have "set them free" to own what they want and where they want. Could be next door to you or across the country?
In our area its not unusual for children to take a lot off the family farm, especially the families that have been here a long time. Some kids like to stick close to their parents and others are on the other side of the planet! Don't take it personally though, in most cases, how "good" a parent was/is isn't a big factor on where the kids end up.

 

[Torvy]

Tiny houses are a modern fad. 30 years from now most will be worth little. There is a reason why people evolved from one room sod houses to bigger structures.

I'll second the opinion that the kids should give it a go as much as possible on their own. Your job is done. You raised him right, he should be able to get by. Most of us learned a lot when we struggled earlier in life. You will always be there as a sounding board and a backstop. Like you said, as the only child he will eventually get your property, but if you don't let him learn on his own, he at not know enough after you are gone to manage it. If nothing else, they should build up credit and if they make good money, they will need the tax deduction.

Our kids were miffed at us at first when we let them pay for their own college and pushed them to be on their own. Now they thank us and laugh at their friends who have no clue how to survive without mommy and daddy.

 

[mikester]

I don't have a problem with a tiny house idea, I do question the $40K cost estimate these days. I was at a house and garden show this summer and they had a tiny home made from two shipping containers on display...only $180K. Then you need a foundation, electrical service, water, septic,...

 

[riptides]

I'd focus on building something for yourself. Let the kids use it (IF they want too) and hopefully they can save their money for what they want.

Picture yourself in 10 to 20 years if you stay on the property. Is your current home accessible to that person? Is it the right size? Is the layout easy to navigate? Is it maintainable?

 

[Spike56]

Regarding a travel trailer solution: How's winter life in one of those? We're in a relatively mild climate, but we still get 20 to 30 degree weather here a couple of months of the year.

I am replying because I wonder about that also. But, as mentioned, if the travel trailer is inside a barn or structure.... maybe not so bad ? Where I was considering (If I move) is in mid Ohio, so would be much much colder. Perhaps, the building I would put the trailer into would eventually become either a home or a heated / AC shop. Careful planning required here if so. That would be *my* solution and *could* if the whole barn were climate controlled, then could have an area outside the trailer to sit / relax... a house within a house ?

 

[tradosaurus]

Sorry for the long backstory; just think it's necessary to get accurate feedback.

My son, currently living at home, just recently graduated from college and landed a very solid job with a stable company, working remotely. We're extremely proud of him. He earned it with hard work.

He and his fiancee are starting to look at rental properties in our area. Pickings are slim in the nearby small towns. If they go to one of the small cities within a 45 minute drive (Gainesville, GA to the south, Anderson, SC to the north), there are many more choices. Pricier, and some iffy neighborhoods the wife and I would not love to see them living in.

We have plenty of acreage with numerous potential home sites, although 75% of our property is in conservation status until 2024. We've always told him, if he ever wanted to build a house on the land, we would help in any way we could. He's open to that. One possibility is building/buying some type of tiny home to put on the property; not a trailer mounted tiny house, but something built on skids, like a 14x40 shed that many people seem to be repurposing for something like this. My back-of-the-envelope estimations suggest a 500 to 600 sq foot building, set up as a 1 bed/1 bath, could be nicely finished for about $40K, including plumbing, HVAC, septic, electrical and fixtures.

We have no zoning restrictions. If we did it in reasonable proximity to our current residence, we could skip digging a separate well. They could use our Internet access (something he needs for his job; we have excellent 1Gbps fiber service). Electricity install would be relatively cheap because of the established power lines on our property. In other words, there are a bunch of fiscal advantages to making a living solution here.

Downsides we readily acknowledge: Less independence from us. Also, they'd be building equity in something that exists on our land. If they left, we'd very likely never rent it to anyone else; certainly not a stranger. We value our privacy. We expect to leave this place to him (he's our only child); barring a financial disaster that forces us to sell, all of the property will be his someday. Any property improvements theoretically benefit him in the long run.

We could also just wait until 2024, and carve off a piece of land on the other side of our property, for him to build a genuine, stick built starter house on. More independent solution for them. They'll have spent about $35K tp $50K on rent between now and then, if they rent until then.

So: Thoughts on tiny homes for this type of solution? What haven't I considered? What are the challenges involved with tiny house type solutions? Thanks in advance for the comments!

If you have the room have them live with you and save their money toward a good down payment.