thinking of having a child @ 48/42 yrs

[Depmandog]

This is a question that only the two of you can answer. You do mention that you guys have been going "round and round"....does that infer you guys are arguing over the situation....or just discussing?

Good luck with your answer. If you chose not to have a baby, you might consider foster care. You can make a huge difference in the life of a child - during a period of time the child really needs a loving stable environment. I say this with experience ( my mom died at the age of 50, - I was 8... Dad was a paraplegic drunk ). Was a ward of the State of Missouri from the age of 8 to 18.

Dean

 

[wrflt]

I scanned over all the replies and I must drop my 2 cents worth......

GET A DOG!:laughing:

 

[Western]

I have a friend where him and his newer wife decided to have a child together in their 40's. Both already had careers and where by most standards financially secure. He had 2 kids from a previous marriage, she hadn't been married.

They had a daughter.

I ask my buddy one time after the child was around 4, what he thought about it at this point, he pretty much said He wouldn't trade his daughter for anything (no doubt there), but in hindsight he would have made a different decision. He said is was "not" like he remembered when he had his 1st kids and had forgotten how demanding a young child could be, especially after you have got used to a certain amount of independence. Now they are divorced and the little girl was an obvious pawn in the proceedings by the wife. Now he has "visitation" + the bills.
EDITED Not saying this would happen to you, just that it happened to a friend of mine.


I agree with W Harv, I think I would try to find a child that may need some one, or "adopt" a young struggling couple with kids that would appreciate an older couples help and wisdom.

I wouldn't do it myself, but once it's done, it's done and the rules and responsibilities just "grow" from there.

 

[wcampbell47]

I posted early on in this thread then attended a party Friday night that confirmed at least my conviction. There was a gentleman in his late 70's early 80's that shuffled up the drive accompanied by a younger wife and 3 sons all still in college. I commented to my wife that this gentleman was in no shape to attend football games, go on fishing/hunting trips or just generally enjoy his sons as I was able to do with mine. Everyone was missing out all the way around - in my estimation.

 

[teg]

...There was a gentleman in his late 70's early 80's that shuffled up the drive accompanied by a younger wife and 3 sons all still in college...

...But was the old man happy for what he had vs. not having the kids? ...and would the kids been happy not being born? Shoot, it gives the old man a reason to live, in my mind... and I hate kids.

 

[wcampbell47]

...But was the old man happy for what he had vs. not ha ving the kids? ...and would the kids been happy not being born? Shoot, it gives the old man a reason to live, in my mind... and I hate kids.

I guess my perspective is from having a father that was too old to do those things with me. I had to go hunting with relatives or strangers, same with fishing. Learned from strangers not my dad. He and I missed out. I say that because of my experiences with my own.

I still regret not being financially able to go to football games that my son played in while attending West Point. You could say I have a biased perspective.

 

[teg]

I guess my perspective is from having a father that was too old to do those things with me...

Yet, you turn out fine... right? I had a dad that was at an "ideal" age but he never did anything with me. Thought all dads were like that... didn't know any better. Everyone has cards that are dealt to them and you play them the best you can.

 

[Gale Hawkins]

I posted early on in this thread then attended a party Friday night that confirmed at least my conviction. There was a gentleman in his late 70's early 80's that shuffled up the drive accompanied by a younger wife and 3 sons all still in college. I commented to my wife that this gentleman was in no shape to attend football games, go on fishing/hunting trips or just generally enjoy his sons as I was able to do with mine. Everyone was missing out all the way around - in my estimation.

Man that was some 'estimation'.

I showed this to my 14 year old son being 60 and shuffle up the drive or use a power chair when sending the day keeping up with the kids at Six Flags. He wants you to know he is glad he was born vs. being prevented from ever living. I guess different people have different values on human life.

 

[teg]

Bottom line... you have to decide for yourself. I never wanted kids and found a wife that felt the same. Always joke about adopting a successful 40 yo when we're in our 70's... shoot maybe get one with grand-kids

 

[Sigarms]

Everyone has cards that are dealt to them and you play them the best you can.

Try being a 5 year old child not having a family that loves you and shows you guidance, but instead being transferred from one foster home to another never knowing what a "real" family is.

I use to think like you in that no one is promised anything in this life, however, if you actually get involved and see what's going on in our own society, some kids are ****** over from the get go and have no clue what a "normal" life is.

The fact is that there are too many people on this earth already, and it's only getting worse.

Everyone has a right to have children, but I could never see the "burning desire" to have them. For myself, it's kind of selfish to "want your own at any cost" when there are so many out there that need a home.

Like I said previously, kids are a lot like dogs in many aspects. Neither get to choose their home or what kind of training they're going to get, and for some reason, some adults feel a need to spend big dollars to get one when so many others need help and you don't have to spend the money.