Thank You

[EddieWalker]

Hakim sent me a nice message explaining why he removed my thread about my pending divorce from Steph. I appreciate it that he took the time to explain it to me, and that it was in my best intererest.

The emails and response from everyone was very much appreciated. I hope I was able to read all of the replies, but if I wasn't, I still appreciate it that you took the time to say something.

Obviously, I won't go into an details. It's just a total shock to me that she would do what she did. I never saw it coming, and I didn't suspect that she was capable of doing what she did.

For now, we're still talking, but she doesn't live here anymore. The locks have been changed and I'm installing a security system with video cameras that will record everything for a week at a time.

The worse part is coming home. The house is empty and I'm a mess. My confidence is just about gone, and I'm afraid of so many things right now. The house is too big, too quiet and too cold. I can't warm up. I have a chill that's inside of me that even with the heaters going, I'm cold.

I bought an excercise bike to help wear me out. I can't sleep and I can't eat. I had four forkfuls of something yesterday don't feel up to even trying today. The idea of laying down and having nothing buy my thoughts in my head is just about the worse thing possible. I won't start drinking, but I can see why some do. It's just so hard to not keep wondering why, what did I do to make this happen, and why she didn't care. The list never stops of things to think about, and the reasons to be ashamed for not being the husband that I wanted to be.

The only thing closely resembling good is that I'm hearing from so many people that I know. I don't have a single friend here in Texas. I married my friend and made her family my friends. They are all gone now, so I'm totally alone here. My clients have been great, especially the ones on Facebook. My brother is an hour away,and he's been good. I'll probably spend more time with him in the coming months. Helping him out with his place and doing all I can to wear myself out.

Eddie

 

[CurlyDave]

Eddie:

You are a good man and did not deserve what happened.

Sounds like you are keeping your head level, which is hard to do at this kind of a time.

Keep up your church contacts -- they are important in this kind of situation.

 

[MF1455v]

Hang in there Eddy. I hate to hear about your loss.

But I have to disagree with you. You have a lot of us in that consider you a friend and part of our Texas TBN family..

James

 

[rockinmywaypa]

Dang I'm sorry to hear this, you seemed so happy giving advice a month ago. maybe you will have to go back and read that forum post. other than this I'm lost for words, This too shall pass just don't give up.

 

[westcliffe01]

Sorry if this sounds a bit harsh, but you need a new avatar. Turn you mind to what you can do creative in that regard, something that stands for YOU.

 

[buckeyefarmer]

I wondered where the thread went, thought maybe you asked to have it removed. Hang in there, don't rush into anything. I know people in your position that have pulled through and kept their marriage together, but it took a lot of time and counseling.

 

[Kyle_in_Tex]

Eddie, sorry to hear this. I didn't see the previous thread but I'm reading between the lines. I can tell you a very similar thing happened to me about 13 years ago. Only I had 15 years invested in my X. At the time, I was very depressed. I know how you feel. What I didn't realize (at the time) was that God had a plan for me. He brought me a beautiful wife, 2 beautiful girls and soon to have one more boy. (And thats all the kids I need).


Give yourself some time. Spend the time getting in shape, visiting family and friends, hunting, traveling etc... Now is the time to invest in YOU and your relationship with the LORD. Don't go to the bars unless you have a dependable friend to drive you home. Although there are exceptions, most relationships started in bars end up disastrous. Take some evening computer classes at the local college.

Change your avatar. Change whatever you want in your home.

Buy yourself some nice clothes. Have them professionally laundered. Go to church. Go to church even on Wednesday night if you think you need it. Be ready for a lunch date or even a movie. Let your clients know that you are now single. Word will spread. Trust me, there are zillions of women out there that would love to have what you have to offer. Single man, self employed, has his own place, hard worker the list goes on. You will have your pick of many. I suggest you keep it to just lunch dates initially so that you might meet many different women and not be too invested in anyone of them. Just watch out for pyscho types meaning crazy or overly dependent and jealous.

You will find that the people who know you will try to introduce you to gals that they know.

Sincerely,
Kyle

 

[Samandothers]

Missed the other post but sorry you are having such issues. I can only say that through reading your posts over the last couple of years you are a good person. Do things good for you. Do spend time with your brother/family
and your tractor friends.

 

[Kyle_in_Tex]

PS. You have friends in Texas. You just need to come visit them. Or invite them over to see you.!

 

[EddieWalker]

Thank you.

Avatar is being changed. I didn't even notice it.

One of my business contacts called me today after reading about the divorce on my facebook page, and told me about The Road Adventure which she said her and her husband would pay for. Then I got an email from a client who also sent me the same link.

Now that I don't have a family, or anybody to help out at home, I really don't want to be here. I think that a class might be a good idea.

I quit going to bars a very long time ago. I rarely drink and wont start now. Just not interested in it.

A buddy of mine just invited me to stay with him in Russia when he moves there. That might be fun, but not right now. I don't really want to have fun, I just want to move forward and get this taken care of.

Eddie