Stupid Things I Have Done

JasperFrank · May 26, 2023

Was riding my motorcycle in a remote area of the Willamette National Forest on some rather primitive roads. It had rained heavily the night before. I'm going through lots of mud puddles on the dirt road. Saw a rather large puddle ahead, so I aimed right for the middle of one of the tire tracks. The whole front of the bike dove straight down about 2 feet and I almost went over the bars. The bike stalled, and the water was just below the air intake. I was able to push the bike out the other side and let the water drain. I had dropped into a tire rut. Oddly, if I had picked the other track, I would have been fine. Since then, I have never trusted another mud puddle on an old logging road.

Dftodd · May 27, 2023

Bifocals just ended up in the burn pile.

Went to toss a tree branch and and snatched them. Landed in the coal pile

Waiting for my wife to pick me up and take me to Wally World so I can find some readers that are close to get me through the weekend till I can call my eye doctor and get my prescription

mrmikey · May 27, 2023

Dropped mine, an '09 Kawi Voyager, at the bottom of an off ramp. Stopped at the stop sign too close to the 3" drop shoulder, went to put my foot down and nuttin' there. Mind you there was when she went down. As was said, once she goes there's nothing going to stop it.

.....and for 0.2 seconds I was going to catch the bike....

Yeah.....tried that, ain't gonna happen. At about the 30 deg. from vertical position my mind said to my, by now, bending leg, "Are you out of your mind. move your stupid a$$ and the rest of your appendages out of the way" Which I did...very ungracefully I might add.
I did get it picked up myself more from the adrenalin rush of embarrassment than strength. Only thing I remember is the car load of teen punks laughing their a$$es off and not an offer of help from them. A guy from the other side of the road came over to help but by then I had it up.

orezok · May 27, 2023

When I was in college in Texas in the 60’s, a funeral procession approached and a motor cop stopped in the middle of the intersection to halt traffic as the procession went by. Somehow he managed to dump his Harley which probably weighed 600 lbs back then and couldn’t pick it back up. Fortunately some Good Samaritan helped him to right it. I bet he heard about that in the locker room for days.

buckeyefarmer · May 27, 2023

Jstpssng said:
All day today I thought it was Thursday, and was trying to prioritize what I needed to do on Friday. At about 3:30 I had the radio on and wondered why the DJ kept saying that it was Wednesday. Dang, there are two more days in this week!

I loved it on “The Office” when Dwight thought Thursday was Friday, and didn’t come in on Friday. “Never missed a day of work in his life, my ass” - Michael Scott

Jstpssng · May 27, 2023

orezok said:
When I was in college in Texas in the 60’s, a funeral procession approached and a motor cop stopped in the middle of the intersection to halt traffic as the procession went by. Somehow he managed to dump his Harley which probably weighed 600 lbs back then and couldn’t pick it back up. Fortunately some Good Samaritan helped him to right it. I bet he heard about that in the locker room for days.

I was on campus as it was starting to snow and watched a woman dump her moped, with her underneath. I ran over, pulled it off her and started asking if she was OK. I don't remember just what she told me but it was so rotten that I almost picked the thing up and threw it back on top of her. In her defense she probably was a bit in shock but still, I had nothing to do with her wiping out.

Dftodd · May 27, 2023

Jstpssng said:
I was on campus as it was starting to snow and watched a woman dump her moped, with her underneath. I ran over, pulled it off her and started asking if she was OK. I don't remember just what she told me but it was so rotten that I almost picked the thing up and threw it back on top of her. In her defense she probably was a bit in shock but still, I had nothing to do with her wiping out.

Years ago in elementary school, the school I went to didn't have a kitchen.

But they had a big crock of soup delivered each day, made at the highschool.

Delivery driver only had a motorcycle with side car. And would deliver in inclement weather as well. This was in Vermont.

Driver picked the soup up and delivered to the elementary school first. Then went across town to the middle school.

On one occasion it was snowing pretty good and the soup didn't make it to the middle school.

Driver left the elementary school, hit the weird traffic pattern for the park and started down the hill. He didn't make the turn at the park, hopped the curb and tipped the cycle out in the middle of the park. Of course spilling the soup in the process.

JethroB · May 28, 2023

Jstpssng said:
All day today I thought it was Thursday, and was trying to prioritize what I needed to do on Friday. At about 3:30 I had the radio on and wondered why the DJ kept saying that it was Wednesday. Dang, there are two more days in this week!

My theory is Thursdays were just thrown into the week as a sort of filler. Just like a D in a multiple choice test.

rangerfredbob · May 28, 2023

An update, luckily my back pain was just agonizing for 6 days, it was just dull yesterday so I decided to stack like 1.5 cord of oak firewood then mow for like 4 or so hours... Don't think I even managed to do anything dumb yesterday other than work through pain... well I did bend over a young cherry tree with the corner of the brush hog (forgot it overhangs the tractor an inch on one side and not the other), it's a ~3 year old volunteer so no big deal if it doesn't make it...

Jstpssng · May 28, 2023

I'm not sure why something from 45 years ago came to mind while I was out mowing my mother's lawn today. One of my dorm mates way back then had a bottle of 191 grain alcohol. I think that he really did keep it around for medicinal purposes... and likely to see who was dumb enough to try it.
That'd be me.

I poured a shot, tipped it back and felt it suck the moisture right out of me. I don't think that it ever hit my stomach, it was just absorbed with all of the moisture in my mouth and throat. I learned my lesson that day, and never tried it again.