Parents with dementia, how dealing with that has gone.

[kenmbz]

Here is a side note, I found difficult to write.

After my mother-in-law passed in the fall, my spouse wanted to move her dad to the next building, that allow more freedom than the memory unit did. While packing his stuff up, she found a stack of legal documents and she read through some of the pages but couldn't made any sense of it. She also spied a hand written note from "Diane" that was a thing to do list for her dad that included "Speak with your attorney and put me on your will. take kids off. Give Diane power of attorney". My spouse had no idea who this was and that afternoon, started to check around town and quickly figured out who she was. She was slightly older than my spouse and had moved back to town a few years ago. So she was known by family name, but never an acquaintance of any family member but had been stopped my to see Ray.

As stated above, Ray was telling everyone who would listen "The kids moved us here against our will! They are stealing our $$! They won't let me care for her at home anymore!"

Next she called the attorney and no shock, knew of this Diane. She had given this stack of papers to Ray to go through and give her office anything that should be updated and also said "without everyone on the papers signing off, the will can't be changed. Ray has been stopping by and calling my staff so much, we had to give him that stack of papers so he had something to do"

For not informing the family members of this action, we lost much confidence in her......

Diane did show up to her moms funeral and wanted to fight with the kids.............

Sorry for the long post!

Scary how people show up like that, hope it didn't mess things up too much.
The stress must have been awful.

 

[MossRoad]

Here is a side note, I found difficult to write.

After my mother-in-law passed in the fall, my spouse wanted to move her dad to the next building, that allow more freedom than the memory unit did. While packing his stuff up, she found a stack of legal documents and she read through some of the pages but couldn't made any sense of it. She also spied a hand written note from "Diane" that was a thing to do list for her dad that included "Speak with your attorney and put me on your will. take kids off. Give Diane power of attorney". My spouse had no idea who this was and that afternoon, started to check around town and quickly figured out who she was. She was slightly older than my spouse and had moved back to town a few years ago. So she was known by family name, but never an acquaintance of any family member but had been stopped my to see Ray.

As stated above, Ray was telling everyone who would listen "The kids moved us here against our will! They are stealing our $$! They won't let me care for her at home anymore!"

Next she called the attorney and no shock, knew of this Diane. She had given this stack of papers to Ray to go through and give her office anything that should be updated and also said "without everyone on the papers signing off, the will can't be changed. Ray has been stopping by and calling my staff so much, we had to give him that stack of papers so he had something to do"

For not informing the family members of this action, we lost much confidence in her......

Diane did show up to her moms funeral and wanted to fight with the kids.............

Sorry for the long post!

Yikes! Unfortunately, there are a lot of people out there that prey on the elderly/disabled.

 

[part-time-Farmer-NC]

WOW... just WOW... I'm once again blown away by the crude/deceiving people of this world. Sorry ya'll have had to go through that.

 

[ArlyA]

As stated earlier, Ray was in the angry dementia phase and telling everyone who'd listen "The kids moved us in here and against our will! They are stealing our $$! They won't let me move back home!". In these short, simple conversations around town, some people who had known him for 60+ couldn't note his connotative loss and a few are still mad at the kids today.. With that said, we're not really sure of Diane's intentions but she was told to stay away..

 

[dodge man]

My dad also went through an angry phase. He was going to get a good divorce lawyer and divorce my mom. Someone stole his wallet he said. He said he was “getting out of this place” one winter night. Walked a few hundred feet and fell down, the ambulance got called that night.

It’s a terrible thing to say it’s a blessing when someone dies but unfortunately it’s true some times.

 

[ultrarunner]

Mom really wanted to go to her childhood home one last time and we had it booked for May 2020 and then pandemic stopped everything.

Mom never came to terms why we could not travel and some new neighbors with zero knowledge call adult protective services saying I was stopping mom from going home…

It all got worked out and had several random visits…

I just said come in… look around.

There was zero to hide but others told me never invite in…

As said the file was updated with moms doctors info… her visits, daily activity and the reason why we could not fly to her childhood home one last time…