My father has fallen and can't get up

   / My father has fallen and can't get up #161  
It's nutty how houses are built without planning for how someone can actually live there when we get old and unable to use the stairs.

Having to deal with a parent's decline in health is plenty enough to deal with by itself. Undertaking a major remodel to make a home continue to be liveable in our old age, too, ....whew.
My Mom was a Geriatric Social Worker. I read in one of her magazines, probably thrity years ago, that over 90% of people in their fifties say they want to age at home as long as possible. Less than 5% do anything to make that actually possible.

I plan on remodeling the walkout basement of my place into an ADA apartment, and living in it as I get older, and renting out the upstairs, or possibly having assistant/helper live upstairs rent free.

But, I keep putting off retirement, and probably need to think things through, and retire sometime soon, so I can actually do the remodel while I still can Do the work. Things keep getting a little stiffer every day. And more of the injuries of my misspent youth keep cropping back up to tell me they didn’t really heal.
   / My father has fallen and can't get up #162  
It's not good when someone's house hinders them from living there and they are physically unable to do anything about it. There are so many houses where there is no wheelchair access at all because there are steps at every entrance. Even if someone is not confined to a wheelchair, there's no safe way of entering the house using a walker, either. If only someone had taken time before building the home to change the design....
   / My father has fallen and can't get up #163  
Sorry for your loss fatjay. But I'll bet your mom will get some good use out of your work. Wife and I are in our mid 60s, she's got bad knees plus other ailments. Our home is comfortable, but very poorly laid out. Built in early 90s, we've had it 7 years. Guest bathroom has a 24 inch wide door with another to get into toilet and tub area. Stupid. Just stupid. Average person can't walk into the room unless sideways. Out master is better, but only a shower and again glass doorway that is 24 inches less door. We're planning a rip out of the guest bathroom and opening it up to either 32 or hopefully 36 inch door and then change to walk in tub. Projecting at least 20k, probably 25k once done. But will make house so much better.
   / My father has fallen and can't get up
  • Thread Starter
Progress is slow, but still getting there. Today was a particularly hard day.

Door trim done, shower stall done, still need caulked around hte base and the side wall finished. Washer/dryer/stationary tube done. Just a bit of trimmings and a bit on the roof is all that remains. Plus the switch from a sliding glass door to a full french door set.

The closer I get to done, the more I think about him, and it hurts. If you've still got them around, make the best use of time for it.




   / My father has fallen and can't get up #165  
Looks nice. You can come and work on my house anytime. Stop by Texas and bring Eddie with.
   / My father has fallen and can't get up #166  
My only suggestion would be to start accessorizing the bathroom / bathrooms for your mother.

When my father came to live with us at age 86, he never complained about his bathroom. Living with him, first was a shower seat that my FIL used before he passed away. Second was a toilet seat with grab bars to make it easier for my dad. His last year he was alive at age 90, we had a walk in tub installed which he loved.

Thing is, my dad was proud and stubborn. I'm the same way at times, but my wife had a way of talking to him in a soft voice and made "recommendations" to him to help make his life easier (my dad - Shower seat? I don't need no shower seat!"..."toilet with grab bars? I don't need to toilet with grab bars!"... "walk in tub? I don't need to walk in tub!")

I've learned from my father first hand that when you have made a life for yourself and done it on your own terms and did pretty good at it, asking for help or realizing that physically you can't do the same things you've done all your life can be hard to admit to yourself, let alone admitting to others.

In hindsight, we should have "outfitted" the bathroom from day one when my dad came to live with us.

The last 2 years he lived with us we removed the bed frame and just put the box spring and mattress directly on the floor. Dad was only 5' and he loved it when we "lowered" the bed for him making it much easier to get in and out of for him. He didn't mind that one at all when we first did that LOL