Hill, you have gotten some very good advice so far...let me highlight some points:
1. You need a Open Center, Double Acting, Spring Return To Center spool vavle, NOT a Motor Spool valve.
2. You CANNOT "T" into hydraulic pressure lines, you can only "T" the Return To Tank line.
3. That valve you linked is WAY to big for a CUT.
And here is more food for thought, The way I read your initial post:
You only need 3 additional circuits. Remember when your BH is on, the T&T on the 3PH will not be on the tractor. So the most you'll use at once is 1 spool for the grapple, and 2 spools for the T&T.