How to spend your legacy?

[MossRoad]

My parents used to tell us "It's not your inheritance, it's our retirement."

I think that was sound advice. Make it on your own.

While it was nice to get a monetary gift from my father to split between my siblings after he passed, I'd have preferred if he'd have been able to stick around and spend it on himself.

 

[YanmarFever]

My vote is for giving it to wounded veterans ,

Wounded Warrior Project's top execs fired amid lavish spending scandal

The Chief Executive Officer and the Chief Operating officer of the Wounded Warrior Project were fired Thursday after an investigation into lavish spending by the veterans charity.

www.foxnews.com

 

[ovrszd]

Wounded Warrior Project's top execs fired amid lavish spending scandal

The Chief Executive Officer and the Chief Operating officer of the Wounded Warrior Project were fired Thursday after an investigation into lavish spending by the veterans charity.

www.foxnews.com

Awww bummer...... Is there no integrity anymore......

 

[MossRoad]

Awww bummer...... Is there no integrity anymore......

That was 6 years ago. Hopefully folks have changed in that org.

 

[3gunr]

The vets deserve better.

 

[TheMan419]

I would find local charities that deal with issues important to you. Talk to their Executive Director about planned giving. Give some money while you are alive so you can see what they do with it.

Obviously you have to keep enough for yourself to live on for however long that is.

If you have more than that kind of money I would give it to charity while I was still alive so I could see the results. There are many find local charities out there that will use the money well to help work on whatever problem in society you think needs addressing.

 

[Oaktree]

Most challenges against the validity of a will are unsuccessful.

My will has a clause that anyone who challenges it will be immediately disqualified from any settlement.

The lawyer who drew up my will recommended a trust given that it's a second marriage for both me and my wife, and we came into it with very unequal assets. I wanted to be able to provide for her should I go first, but not pass down to her kids (I have none, and not many surviving blood relatives). Some of this was covered in a pre-nup but not all.

 

[EddieWalker]

My wife and I have been talking about this topic recently. My brother passed away without a will, and it's been interesting to see who his friends where. Most of them want his stuff, but only one actually showed up to help out with getting everything in order. He is also the only one that didn't ask for anything.

Dealing with his estate has made us question what we to happen with our stuff. I don't have any kids, but my wife has 4. She has said more then once that kids are over rated. They are all OK, but none of them will do anything for anybody else. They all do the very minimum to get by, and then put all their energy into complaining and begging for handouts. We do not plan on leaving them anything. We also don't expect any of them to help us out if we need help with anything when we get older. We're on our own.

One of our passions in life is our dogs. We raise and show Akita's. Our biggest concern is that they will be taken care of after we pass away. As we get older, we will slow down with this, but there is always the concern that we might pass away before they do. We know of several people in the Akita world that would take care of them, so that's been a consideration. We also know of a young lady that would be a good fit to live here and take over the place once we are gone. We're not thrilled with her husband, but he might not be around for much longer and that strengthens her position to get everything. I know it's petty on our part, but he is lazy and jealous of her success from her hard work and constantly pushing herself. On several occasions he has gone out of his way to sabotage her for no other reason then to try to make himself look good. With him in the picture, it complicates what we want to do with our place.

Another option is the Akita Club of America. My wife is a Board Member and we are very active in supporting everything they do to help the breed. There are some truly horrible people out there and when law enforcement takes action, the Club steps in to find homes for those Akita's. We both believe that if they received our estate, they would do what's best for our dogs.

There is also hope that one or some of the grandkids will become people that we can become proud. In that, I'm saying that we would chose one or all of them to receive everything we have if they are successful, responsible, and honest. Unfortunately, our fear is that they will turn out like their parents and live their life's based on what they can get for nothing, and finding as much time as possible to play video games. It might be better if they where crack addicts. I think there is a chance of overcoming crack. Video Games seem to be more addictive!!!!

If we live long enough, we will eventually sell the farm, move somewhere else, and downsize. If that happens, we will have fewer dogs, fewer things that would need to be sold, and hopefully more cash in the bank that we're living off of. What's left will go to who we feel has done the best with their life, not the ones who want something for free and spend all their time making excuses for not working towards anything.

 

[Citydude]

In an intestate situation, the heirs would have to ask the court to fire them for cause. They will put forth some reason why it's taking so long. Two years isn't uncommon. The judge probably appointed them because they are his or her favorites anyway out of the lawyers that handle estates before that judge.

No estate plan is perfect. One of the risks is in thinking you still have time to change things. Once someone becomes mentally incapacitated, they may not be able to change their will even if they wanted to.

Spendthrifts are a bottomless pit. Doesn't matter how much they get because they will spend it all and then some.

Our state has a judicial conduct commission that citizens can contact for situations like this. One district court judge was just removed for letting files set on his desk and not getting hearings scheduled. AKA, lazy.

My wife was the chair person on this commission for two years. They investigated every complaint no matter how trivial. The commission can only recommend to the supreme courts a lawyer or judge to be given a warning, suspended or their license removed. The Supreme Court took it from there.

Lawyers and judges can get spanked for that crap. Use the system. It works.

 

[2manyrocks]

2 years to administer an intestate estate is not uncommon. The fact that a judge has his favs in and of itself is not enough to invoke discipline. This could be avoided by spending a few hundred to have a will written by a competent attorney.

 

[buckeyefarmer]

Time to cut the lawyers off. Fire them.

Can’t, all controlled by probate judge.

 

[turnkey4099]

This is a hypothetical question. (sort of) Let's suppose that you are fairly old and have no close relatives left. You worked very hard all your lifetime and were conservative spending and have amassed a nice savings. Let's just say around $1,000,000 which is not very much nowdays. Your health is failing and you don't want your money to go to your closest relative which you hardly even know so you want to make out a will.

You are an animal lover who has had hounds and horses all his life but hesitate to leave money to some of the so-called animal protectorates like PETA and many others who I have found spend money on ways I do not agree with. There are so many so-called charities that collect money for some worthy cause but keep 90% and only 10% goes to that cause. Most of your good friends who are still living are as old or older than you and you may very well outlast them. You would like to be remembered by your community as a special person but not by just having the fanciest and most expensive grave marker in town. How would you make out your will?

This question does not just apply to me as I have made my will already and I leave everything to my wife of, so far, 57 years. But, in the event I outlive her, I am not satisfied with the will I have made. My area has an outstanding police department that has done a remarkable job for many years without the problems you hear so often now but has the problem of hiring new recruits as no one in their right mind wants to be a cop anymore where the cop is more likely to end up in jail than the criminal so I want to do everything I can to make sure that people know that the community supports them. So I have a small portion of my will going to the Sheriff's Office with the Sherrif deciding to whom and how much of the money will go to any deputy who is severely injured or killed in the line of duty. Other amounts go to relatives who I barely know and really don't believe they deserve it.

If you were in the described situation, how would you make out your will?

I am in much the same situation. 87yoa and good relaltion with my younger siblings. Will specifies the estate to be distributed equally amongst survivors but has a add on "if no survivors local HS is to establish a scholarship but it must be in the STEM curicula. I am sick of seeing money wasted on sports and other easy degrees that are worthless. One of my sisters had one for something in sports - total waste.

 

[RSKY]

My wife and I both settled our last parent's estates last year. Wife and her sister were co-executors and handled everything together or if one was busy the other handled the business. No lawyers were used and the estate was settled to both their satisfaction.

My sisters and I were also co-executors on my mother's estate and settled everything with no lawyers involved. We divided the different tasks and all three of us made sure to document everything we did. After making sure all bills were paid we handed the judge an informal settlement paper which was approved and returned within two weeks.

I understand a lot of families could not do this and would try to get one over on their siblings but I never worried about that with mine. I would have trusted either one to have handled the entire matter by themselves and would not have doubted they would have divided the estate fairly.

Both of the deceased parents had clearly written wills that simplified the tasks involved in the division of assets.

BUT, there is a family related to ours by marriage that is in their third year trying to settle the estate of a relative who died without a will. There were several properties involved of varying value. According to one of the kids all the cash, bank accounts, CDs, etc. has already been spent on legal fees and some of the property may have to be sold. All because the idiot didn't have a will.

My wife and I have wills that are clear, simple, and fair. We want no discord in our family at our passing.

RSKY

 

[RSKY]

All our investments and property are left in our will specified "Per Stripes" (I think this is the term) meaning that it is to be divided equally between our two children but if one has passed their half is to go to their descendants and so on. If they have no surviving descendants then it goes to the other child in the same manner.

RSKY

 

[dmccarty]

Having been in a minor disaster area I second the part about not giving it to a national "charity"!

Samaritan's Purse has been great here. They are strictly volunteer funded by donations. As have been the Bread of Life organization. Heck, give it to the Amish Disaster Relief IF they will take it. When I tried to write them a check they acted insulted. They do fantastic work rebuilding areas hit by disaster. These are organizations that I have seen at work and they do good work.

RSKY

Just going to start with RSKY's comment.

After seeing large organizations vs small, local organizations, working in disasters, the smaller, local groups are far superior. The Baptists have a disaster organization that was amazing. The Mennonites were also awesome but I don't know if they took donations outside of the disaster. They just showed up and got to work.

When I did some research years ago, the Salvation Army seemed to use their money wisely.

Keeping the money local, where you have a chance of knowing the charity, is key. I won't give to a couple of local charities because of how they operate and treat employees. One charity is part of a nationwide organization but the local operation won't get anything from us. There is another "charity" were the owner makes volunteers sign a NDA...

Unfortunately, looking at how money is spent at so many charities, it makes me very hesitant to donate. So many charities seem to be FOR the people at the top of the organization, while the people/animals/cause who are to be helped, just seem like bait to hook the money. The only way to defeat that is to donate locally where one has visibility into the organization.

The suggestion to help out a person in need is also a good idea. We have helped people who really were trying and needed some help. It is something. It may or may not work but it is an attempt. Some people, we have too many in our family, I would not give a penny too. They are not worth a penny. They are lazy, good for nothing, and have done nothing, in spite of numerous chances, to make a better life. There are far too many people like this in the world. The key is finding the people who are worth taking a chance to see if they will do better.

I do wonder about the smaller charities like the VFW, Kiwanis, Jaycees, etc. The local Jaycees seem to be giving money to their causes, but they have also seemed to have disappeared. They were supposed to have had over 300,000 members in the mid 70's but are down to 12,500 today.

If one really wants a chance to have one's money used as one desires, you pretty much have to do it while alive, which of course is difficult for a variety of reasons.

 

[ponytug]

@RSKY I'm no attorney, but I think the phrase is "per stirpes".

Per Stirpes: Meaning and Use in Estate Planning

Per stirpes is a legal stipulation that, should a beneficiary predecease the testator, the beneficiary's share of the inheritance will go to their heirs.

www.investopedia.com

Thanks for bringing it up.

All the best,

Peter

 

[newbury]

I've watched families get ugly over estates before. Not happening here. Money always brings out the worse in humans.

Even with a will it can get messy If anyone contests it.

If the will gets seen.
My mother-in-law's brother (she had 11 brothers and sisters) passed away about decade ago. My wife, being the lawyer in the clan had prepared a will with him many years before that, but had not kept a copy. He had been a real rocket scientist for NASA at Hunstville, Alabama and retired to Fulton, Ms, and was considered wealthy, but a spendthrift. He left a widow, a few houses, and a lot of money in many banks.
A daughter-in-law of his virtually parachuted in from many states away. She talked his widow into giving her the safe deposit key. And lo-and-behold there was no will there.
This ended up being contested, yet even with executors (which the deceased had appointed a few months before his death) was still a real mess. It took the executors 2 years to get it settled.

 

[tallyho8]

Our wills cost us $1500 because we made them so complicated but I believe they are worth every penny of it. Our lawyer was able to make trusts for our grandson and niece that one of us could spend if needed but that if we had to go into a nursing home the beneficiaries would get the trust. A nursing home can easily run up bills on you for over a million dollars in 2 short years completely deleting your assets. This is the reason that the mafia went into nursing homes in the 1970s when there was a huge crackdown on their gambling enterprises.

Our wills also stipulate that anyone contesting our will is automatically removed from any benefits. Much of our assets are in our home so it is not possible for us to give too much away while living without selling our home and I prefer to die here.

It is heartbreaking to hear about the Wounded Warrior project and many others skimming the money for their own uses and one reason why I distrust so many of these "charities". Helping wounded warriors would be a top project of mine if I could find ones that deserved it and needed the help locally as I have lost some of my best friends in Nam since I was only 19.

 

[two_bit_score]

I only see one lawyer. Usually there are at least two or multiple lawyers doing the milking.

A lawyer on every teat!

 

[MossRoad]

That was 6 years ago. Hopefully folks have changed in that org.

Apparently they have...

In February 2017, the Better Business Bureau released a report clearing Wounded Warrior Project of the "lavish spending" allegations, and "found the organization’s spending to be consistent with its programs and mission."[51]

From here:

Wounded Warrior Project - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org