Help me compile a list

[TNhobbyfarmer]

I am compiling a list of comical sayings that describe how a person is not the brightest. You've all heard these. A few examples are: He/she is two bricks short of a load, elevator doesn't go all the way to the top, two cards short of a full deck, not the sharpest knife in the drawer, etc., etc., etc. If you know some of these sayings, please post them. Thanks.

 

[jimmy1]

OK I'll add some.

Not the sweetest apple on the tree.

Can't walk and chew gum at the same time.

Can't count to six without hurting themself.

Not firing on all cylinders.



Jim

 

[Soundguy]

Not the brightest bulb in the pack

 

[LMTC]

A few sandwiches shy of a picnic.

Couldn't predict darkness with his hand on the light switch.

Couldn't find his own "backside" with both hands.

She's knitting with only one needle (this was a gender specific crack used by an aging female relative)

The lights are on but nobodys home.

He/She has a mind like a screen door.

Were his/her parents first cousins?

He's/she's running full throttle (or wide open) on an empty tank.

In fairness I should add that I qualify for most any of these at some point or another....

 

[duber34]

Not the sharpest tool in the shed.

 

[woodchuckie]

[SIZE=-1]Driving with two wheels in the sand.
[/SIZE]A bad spot on the disk.
He's about a half a bubble off plumb.
Her antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
oil doesn't reach his dipstick

 

[TC29-dude]

The butter done slipped off his biscuit!

He ain't pickin' up what you're puttin' down.

 

[hitekcountry]

Couldn't pour water out of a boot with the complete set of instructions written on the bottom of the sole.

 

[jbrumberg]

He/she is from the shallow end of the gene pool.

Got a few holes in his/her sails.

Not firing on all cylinders.

Intellectually challenged.

 

[Inspector507]

A few fries short of a Happy Meal