Grandson update ...

[blueriver]

Well everyone thanks for all the advice. I met today with the Principal as well as 2 of the board members. Long story short ... I have informed them I will not tolerate any more mishaps with this boy ... if they can not keep it under control I will be forced to contact what ever authorities I have to too see this come to a halt ... I told them, kindly that I felt it was there responsibility to pay more attention to whats going on around the school and if they can't handle it I am convinced that there are members of law enforcement, social services as well as the State that when involved they surely can handle it.

Time will tell ... some of you had some strong words that sank in ... I took on the responsibility of raising this boy and I guess this is part of it.

 

[Western]

Well everyone thanks for all the advice. I met today with the Principal as well as 2 of the board members. Long story short ... I have informed them I will not tolerate any more mishaps with this boy ... if they can not keep it under control I will be forced to contact what ever authorities I have to too see this come to a halt ... I told them, kindly that I felt it was there responsibility to pay more attention to whats going on around the school and if they can't handle it I am convinced that there are members of law enforcement, social services as well as the State that when involved they surely can handle it.

Time will tell ... some of you had some strong words that sank in ... I took on the responsibility of raising this boy and I guess this is part of it.

:thumbsup: It's "trail by fire" with every child since they are different and individual people, but sometimes (often) they need a little more protection in some areas to help them along.

BR I would hold the school to the "grill" on this as I'm sure you will. If they drop the ball or lax on it, hit them with everything you can, you will be doing good for every child that depends on an adult for justice at that school.

 

[TripleR]

Keep us posted on your progress as many may encounter this at some point. One of my daughters is a teacher who has taught in public and private schools with some handling it well and others quite poorly.

 

[dmccarty]

Sometimes when you talk to a person about a problem they might not quickly answer questions or open up for a discussion especially if the problem is sensitive to them. Sometimes all you can do is ask a simple INDIRECT question. "How is it going at school?" is a better question than "Are you getting bullied at school?"

"How is it going at school?" is more likely to get a conversation going. "Are you getting bullied at school?" is likely to get a quick "No." answer.

Letting someone know that they CAN talk to you works as well. Let them decide to talk when they are ready.

Later,
Dan

 

[blueriver]

Well its only been a few days since my little visit ... no bully problems. Report cards and parent teacher conference's where coming up. Mysteriously the school schedule disappeared from the bulletin board in the kitchen ... days went by and we asked about the report card ... then the phone rang and one of the teachers asked why we missed the conference and what did we think of the boys report card ????

We questioned him about it and couldn't get a solid answer as to the where abouts of the report card.... "I don't know where it is" "No body gave it to me" ... well I finally told him if you don't bring home a report card don't bother coming home (I Know harse)

Well last night he brought home a print out from the office ... not the usual one with # of days absent, tardies, GPA's ... just the basic class, teacher and grade. I was working in the shop when he came in and asked how my day went ... still aggrevated I quickly switched gears and stated well I quess if your home we have a report card? He hung his head and replied yes ... I asked if I was going to be proud or disappointed. He started in with trying to make a excuse and I quickly told him I didn't ask for an excuse I asked if I was going to be proud or dissapointed ... he stated disappointed. Well that was an understatement. So ... now I have to get him to understand this and that the grades he brought home are unacceptable ... I mean one of the "F's" was a low as 34% ... I spoke with that teacher last night and was told he simply refuse's to do anything in class.

Oh the joy of being a Grandpa ... Grandma did not take it well and told him the books that he needs to bring home tonight ... I got a feeling his evenings are going to be book involved.

 

[dmccarty]

....
Oh the joy of being a Grandpa ... Grandma did not take it well and told him the books that he needs to bring home tonight ... I got a feeling his evenings are going to be book involved.

It is hard.

Our oldest really struggled for a while in school. Not quite sure why other than she learned to pull certain strings and she could get out of work. It took many a night doing home work for her to catch up. Some of the home work was not her fault, she had one teacher that simply went overboard on home work. It was not pleasant for any of us. She was very resistant to doing the work. I think it was partly being lazy, frustrated, and not understanding the work. She also would make it difficult for us to help.

Eventually, it took a year or two we got the problem solved. Now she is getting very good grades and we do not have to ride her fanny to get her work down. She finally realized it was easier for her to just do the work rather than us having to act like DI's talking to a boot.

Flip side is that getting bullied like he is/was has to affect his ability to focus and work. No excuse for not doing the work but the bullying is not/did not help him mentally.

Later,
Dan

 

[dmccarty]

... I spoke with that teacher last night and was told he simply refuse's to do anything in class.
...

My question to the school and teacher would be why did you wait this long to tell me there is a problem? They knew there was a problem and they should have told you.

We have had this conversation with our school as well. A kid would be doing ok, or even well, but then a bad attitude and work ethic would happen so the grades dropped. By the time we found out it was report card time. The teacher saw this happening and told us NOTHING until we saw the report card. At that point it is a bit late.

Later,
Dan

 

[acme97]

Don't give up hope on him. As a backdrop story, I was a terrible student. I hated authority, class clown, mostly a loner. Failed several grades, finally dropped out in 10th grade. Went to an Air Force recruiting statione and said I wanted to go in. The recruiter was bored so let me take the ASRAP (sp) test to see what fields I might be good in. Scored off the charts and qualified for any enlisted position they had at the time. Being 17, I had to get my fathers permission, which I did as he was recovering from an operation. So, in I went. LIGHT came on - besides having a successful 20 yr career, I earned my GED, 2 Associates Degrees, a Bachelors, Masters, and now I'm working on a PhD. Some of us are just slow learners on the lessons of life.

 

[texasjohn]

Blueriver, I recognize the "refuses to do anything" symptom...have sent you a PM.

Dmccarty, I also recognize the poor grades unreported by the teacher symptom as well.

Acme97, congrats to you for finding your way in the end! And thanks for sharing it with us:thumbsup:

There is HOPE! May each of us find a way to turn on our own light and that of our loved ones who struggle with fitting into the accepted behaviors of modern society.

 

[dmccarty]

...

There is HOPE! May each of us find a way to turn on our own light and that of our loved ones who struggle with fitting into the accepted behaviors of modern society.

Exactly! :thumbsup:

I implied too not give up hope but it may not have been obvious since I said it in a round about way.

Blueriver, you and the wifey are doing the right things but there will be the ups and downs.

I might have mentioned this previously, but we have a nephew that had it really bad as a baby and young child. My MIL is now raising him. He has come far in a very short time. Given the hole he started in, it is amazing how far he has advanced. He is getting good grades and is doing well socially in school for the most part. He is a pretty shy kid but he likes to play football which has helped him socially. He likes football because he has to wear a helmet. With a helmet nobody can see him. :laughing:

If you do get frustrated go outside and split wood or run the tractor. :thumbsup: It helps. :laughing:

Later,
Dan