Good morning!!!!

[sodamo]

Glad you’re doing well, Jay






Why I Like Retirement!

Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Two hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question: How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer:
Only one, but it might take all day.


Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.


Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount.

Question: Among retirees, what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.


Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.


Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!


Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal.

Question What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.


Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.


Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

And, my favorite....
QUESTION: What do you do all week?
Answer: Monday through Friday, NOTHING. Saturday & Sunday, I rest.

SERENITY

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked,
'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied.
'Two years older than me'
'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.
She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?


Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
'And what do you think is the best thing
about being 104?' the reporter asked.
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'


The nice thing about being senile is
you can hide your own Easter eggs and have fun finding them.


I've sure gotten old!
I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
take 40 different medications that
make me dizzy, winded, and subject to
blackouts. Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends.
But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.


I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to
join a fitness club and start exercising.
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on,
the class was over.


My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Know how to prevent sagging?
Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.


It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.

These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, 'For fast relief.'


THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.



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[buckeyefarmer]

My wife’s cousin lives in Sun City, AZ. There are rules. But I don’t see anybody enforcing them. The area still looks nice though.

Had friends that used to live there, visited them there once.

 

[Bird]

We took a guided tour of Sun City, AZ, on February 6, 1990, so my knowledge is 28 years old; might be out of date. Some things may have changed.:laughing::laughing:

 

[buckeyefarmer]

We took a guided tour of Sun City, AZ, on February 6, 1990, so my knowledge is 28 years old; might be out of date. Some things may have changed.:laughing::laughing:

We were there in 93.

 

[txdon]

Don, I don't think I could remember and quote the rules. But it's not really any specific rule; it's just that when I pay for property, I like to be as free as possible to do as I please. No matter where you live, there will always be some rules, but . . . .

Before we bought our current home, we looked at two NEW homes and would definitely have bought either of them, if I hadn't learned that they each had a "Homeowner's Association" that had a wide variety of rules; no separate storage building, couldn't paint your house without prior approval of the homeowners association, no change in fencing, no widening or otherwise modifying your driveway. no change to the lawn or landscaping without prior approval, and on and on with the rules. Maybe such rules are good, but they can all change with a vote by the elected board, so you really don't know what the rules may be next week.

Now I don't blame anyone else for buying into such places, but it's not for me.

Here the driveway width is determined by the city not the association and a lot of people have gotten around it by using a different material like rock or pavers. The fence has to be like the one in my photo and it sure looks a lot better than each house having a different type of fence. There are no storage buildings thats why the 3 car garages. No approval for same or near same color paint - that keeps a lot of weird people from austin painting their houses purple. Major landscape does need prior approval but there seems to be plenty of variety to choose from - from rock yards to highly bushed yards. You would not want your neighbor to put up a 50' bottle tree. I look at the things that keep the neighborhood looking neat and inviting instead of what I cannot have, but I understand your need to do whatever you want and your neighbor's need to do whatever they want and there's where the association can comes in handy to prevent your neighbor from devaluing your house. I'm sure everyone has seen a place that they say "I'm glad I don't live next to that."

 

[RedNeckGeek]

I'm sure everyone has seen a place that they say "I'm glad I don't live next to that."

That would be my immediate neighbor, the crazy idiot one. Bright yellow with orange trim double wide. It needs painted badly, and I wonder how much worse it'll get. He has a 40' shipping container parked right next to the cul-de-sac where it's the first thing anyone sees, then had the nerve to complain about the brush piles we pushed up while clearing out the easement I have across his property. He said they ruined the look of his property for one of his boy's wedding that summer. That said, I can't really see his place until I get up the driveway a ways, and other than his midnight shooting sprees, I hardly ever hear from him. That wouldn't be the case if I lived in a neighborhood, and there are plenty of times when I did that CC&Rs were no help resolving issues. My experience has been you either live near people you get along with or you don't, and the a$$hats won't care if what they're doing violates some kind of homeowner's association rule. With a few acres here, at least I can keep the insanity at arm's length.

I wish you the very best of luck in Sun City, Don, and hope you and yours have the time of your life there!

 

[toppop52]

Been there also. Had a contractor doing work for me there... My trip to Sacramento was to testify in court against him for fraud.. Hmmm, you ever spend time for fraud? Lol.

Not as far as you know!

 

[toppop52]

JB, thanks for the heads up on the BM, I passed that to Ellen and she is checking with the hospital.

 

[Ed of all trades]

David, There are three things that happen when you get old. The first is you forget things and I can't remember the other two. Ed

 

[LS Tractor Owner]

David, it took us about ten minutes to catch our breath and let the abdominal cramps calm down. We haven't laughed that hard in years! Seriously good stuff!