Thanks creekbend. I let my mouth get me into this guardianship but I have to say it has been and still is a great blessing.
The guy and his family lived around here for the most part since his birth about three miles from my home and often on the place of a guy who brought them to church. It was not until after the Navy, college and graduate school and moving back did I realize this guy was not retarded as most assumed because of the environment he was living in. All anyone knew his dad was that Old Man Riddle who was a good carpenter but only two are alive who ever saw him.
After observing him at church and seeing how bright he had to be to do the things could do that the rest of the family could not do I got to wondering why he was deaf. The ENT group that reconstructed both his ear drums so he could be fitted with hearing aids expected as a child due to the pain of fluid build up he relieved the pressure with foreign objects. There is a story by a long since deceased lady that she witnessed him as a child with discharge running out of both ears. Yes I do not understand how people could see that and do nothing but there was a time when the very poor did not get the attention of those in position to help them I guess.
Anyway about 20 years later with aids he can hear fairly well but it was too late to gain speech. He does understand English if he knows about the subject but is effective with self taught signs. Thankfully I was finally able to get him into a very nice retirement home but it did take legal steps to get him accepted because he was initially rejected by the then administrator due to lack of speech and hearing. This was about 18 years ago but still not all is well for the handicapped without a voice.
His mom loved him very much but was very limited due to no education and being trapped in an abusive environment. After all the ear surgeries were behind us one day when I took him home after a dental visit his mom stated she was concerned about him. I assured her he was fine because we just had been to get a tooth pulled.
She said no she was concerned about what would happen to her son when she died. I passed it off by telling her she would live a long time but if something did happen I would see that he was cared for or would do it myself and forgot about it. She was dead in six months. While she was 74 I now know she had a very retarded daughter married to guy and they would come and take their food. She had become sick and weak to the points rats chewed on her when she was bed fast. He son came up with an old hammer and some used nails and was nailing old boards over the rat holes when I got there after learning about her death. He stayed with us until the guardianship hearing.
With the event of her death I had to step up to the plate or have lied to a dying woman about the care of her son without a voice for his future. Some were supportive of my efforts and others told me I was crazy but my wife was supported and so was the court system. Where he lives today they all love him because he is so nice and kind and helpful. Actually he works there and makes some spending money but having a job means more to him than the money I am sure. Even after all the years of living conditions beyond what words can describe well he has pride and really takes care of his few processions.
He is saving for a tombstone for his step dad, mom and his grave site that are currently marked with 8x12" markers. Well the stone his is selected is very nice so it got me to thinking about how I could use the back side so after his death he will be remembered as a real person which in not the mind set of some today.
That started the genealogy process. On the back will be his mom's complete name and dates, Daughter of then her parents full names, dates and then Mother of and the full names of her three children. Then I will do the same for her son. My wife and kids have this info that I have pulled together of the last couple weeks in case something happens to me before I get a final draft of it to the monument company this week. The retirement home is working to get a timeless photo that will be processed and mounted in an insert in the black head stone that will have a colored etching of a church in the vale scene.
I have to say doing for others that can not tangibly return the favor is very rewarding. So many people need help but can not be helped or even appreciate it so when one can make a difference in a life it is a good feeling.
