Brush, bush or bushes?

   / Brush, bush or bushes? #21  
This joke seems to fit in here :rolleyes: It's from a shirt-tail relation in Northern Ontario.

A woman from downtown Toronto, who was a tree hugger, a card carrying Liberal , and a highly vocal anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland near Bancroft On. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch. In considerable pain, she hurried to a local ER in Bancroft to see a doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist, a Liberal, and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters.

The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go wait in the examining room and he would see if he could help her. She sat and waited three hours before the doctor reappeared. The angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?"

He smiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Ministry of Environment, the Ministry of Natural Resources and the Ontario Planning Board before I could remove old-growth timber from a "recreational area" so close to a waste treatment facility.

I'm sorry, but due to Ontario's health care policies and cutbacks, they turned you down!"
 
   / Brush, bush or bushes? #22  
Love that one Dave ...and yes I have been to Bancroft. Up here it is common to state going hunting in the bush, or a bush plane pilot is good at landing on lakes in the bush. The word bush replaces forest. Forest is a more formal word. I have 34 acres of bush and 6 acres cleared . But it is also used singular eg a single lilac bush.
 
   / Brush, bush or bushes? #24  
While winging his way over the wilderness, the backwoods bush pilot had a brush with death when he ditched his plane in the tulies. He scampered through the thicket 'till he got caught up in the briar patch, spied a hedge row of shinnery bordering the hinterland. He stomped through the scrub, bumbled through the bramble and boscage and wallowed through the weeds and finally escaped the shrubbery. That was the last time he flew over the outback.

I'll go back to my corner now. :D

Joe

Now that was a masterpiece! It needs to be saved for posterity...besides, it's downright funny!
 

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