Parents with dementia, how dealing with that has gone.

[Runner]

Her dad was demanding his car back so my spouse took him to the the states cognitive driving test which he failed BIG time.

So, does he have a valid license now?

 

[ArlyA]

So, does he have a valid license now?

Yes, the state doesn't have a system to take it away after his failure.. Still has a car anyway.

 

[ArlyA]

Man, those words are reprehensible to me now-a-days.

Dealing with in-laws and family.

Some people just cannot accept reality.

Maybe he doesn't believe dementia is real? He prayed to make the right decision and giving his car back was it? I can't tell, but I do know my spouse is going through hell..

 

[ultrarunner]

Yes, the state doesn't have a system to take it away after his failure.. Still has a car anyway.

I might have to move there as California is pretty aggressive taking or restricting licenses and it only takes one call to get the ball rolling...

Thing is so many drive without a license and nothing much happens unless you kill someone...

 

[ultrarunner]

Maybe he doesn't believe dementia is real? He prayed to make the right decision and giving the care back was it? I can't tell, but I do know my spouse is going through hell..

I know a person that disabled a car because when it was taken the elderly owner reported it stolen multiple times

He took the coil wire back when cars had coil wires...

 

[ArlyA]

She is working with his doc to have him declared incompetent.

 

[MossRoad]

Her dad was demanding his car back so my spouse took him to the the states cognitive driving test which he failed BIG time. Afterwards he stated "it was setup for me to fail". Them my spouses brother showed up and gave him the keys and car back and texted "he seems fine to me" and left town for my spouse to care.

GRRRR!!!!

 

[MossRoad]

She is working with his doc to have him declared incompetent.

Good luck.

 

[Sigarms]

My father in-law gave his license up fairly easily. We were fortunate. One day he just said "I probably shouldn't be driving anymore." and that was that. Fortunately, his wife was 13 years younger than him and enjoys driving. So he'd hop in the passenger seat and enjoy the scenery.

We were blessed as well when my dad lived with us.

He moved in with us at age 86, but you have to keep in mind, he was very active until he fractured his back at the same age (use to drive 8 hours one way to visit regularly).

Luckily at age 88, his grandson's were getting their learners permits for driving, so my dad would let them drive his car, so anytime he wanted to go out somewhere, they would drive him and he'd "instruct them" giving them practice. The conversation of my dad not driving again really never came up.

It came as a shock to me that just this year, my one boy who is in the Air Force now was telling me (as we were driving together) he learned all about fishtailing with "gramps". I was actually kind of peeved what I found out my dad let those boys do in his car, but at the end of the day couldn't help but smile.

I told my boy he was lucky as my father didn't seem so forgiving driving his car when I was learning to drive his 5 speed as a teen. My son told me not to worry, it wasn't all fun. I asked him what he meant, and he said if they didn't do what gramps told them to do, he's slap them. We both laughed over that one because that's the dad I remember (very fondly, mind you).

Please excuse the picture. The first or second year when he lived with us and he was still able to drive on his own. Caught him going out when I was coming up from work. House is down the road a couple hundred yards, rural road and we stopped to talk to each other as he was going in and I coming in...

 

[dodge man]

Good luck Arly, tough times.