You Know You Are Old When

[goeduck]

Underwear suspenders? Never heard of that before, nor can I think of a reason I'd need them. Actually, "regular" suspenders are a "old guy" step I'm not ready to make yet, even though I do have a couple pairs of pants that don't stay up very well unless I cinch a belt really tight.

You might need them if you wear your pants down around your hips. The underwear suspenders might make sure your old-man's-but does not get sunburned.

 

[K5lwq]

I was in Atwood’s the other day to get a few things and needed some condenser cleaner. I walked all over looking in places I thought they may keep and keyed in on every spray can I could see.

Just after passing some ant killer I saw a young lady that worked there. I asked her “where do you keep your ant cleaner?”. She looked at me puzzled and I realized what I said. She very politely said I don’t think we carry that.

So I said, well I guess my ants will have to stay dirty and walked off.

 

[sixdogs]

You know you're older when hot babes accidentally brush against you in a crowd or checkout line and say "excuse me" as though it was their fault.

 

[Pixguy]

I know I'm old but I still enjoyed the dental hygienist leaning up against me but cushioned by the hefty air bags.

 

[LouNY]

Or when the nurse swings your arm up on her hip while taking your blood pressure mine is always a bit higher with a couple of the nurses that I see. Too often actually.

 

[Jstpssng]

First time I ever had surgery a very cute nurse was inadvertently leaning with her butt against my open hand. It was all that I could do to keep from scratching it.

 

[WinterDeere]

First time I ever had surgery a very cute nurse was inadvertently leaning with her butt against my open hand. It was all that I could do to keep from scratching it.

I was hit by a car when I was 11 years old, spent nearly a week in the hospital. They told me a nurse would be coming to give me a bath, which I was very unhappy about, until the real-life incarnation of Jessica Rabbit showed up in a nurse's uniform. Nearly 40 years later, I still remember that bath.

 

[masseyrider]

I was hit by a car when I was 11 years old, spent nearly a week in the hospital. They told me a nurse would be coming to give me a bath, which I was very unhappy about, until the real-life incarnation of Jessica Rabbit showed up in a nurse's uniform. Nearly 40 years later, I still remember that bath.

A friend of mine fell out of a tree when he was 13 landing on his ass and lower spine.
Lucky he wasn't paralysed.
He was in traction for 3 months in the hospital.
He said he couldn't wait for his daily bath.
He was so embarrassed the first time when he came while the nurse cleaned up.
After that it was a regular release, especially with his favorite nurse.

 

[2LaneCruzer]

I was in the hospital for hemorrhoid surgery a few years back, and was visited by a beautiful nurse, who was, incidentally, married to a coworker of mine. She says: "I'm supposed to remove your catheter, if that's OK with you".

I was in no mood for hanky panky; I said "Sure. If there's anything down there you like, you're welcome to it".

 

[Jstpssng]

I was in the hospital for hemorrhoid surgery a few years back, and was visited by a beautiful nurse, who was, incidentally, married to a coworker of mine. She says: "I'm supposed to remove your catheter, if that's OK with you".

I was in no mood for hanky panky; I said "Sure. If there's anything down there you like, you're welcome to it".

I had to take my own catheter out. I didn't realize until I started pulling that it went almost all of the way to my tonsils!
At least that's what it seemed like.