How to spend your legacy?

[jjeff]

Awww bummer...... Is there no integrity anymore......

The Navy Marine Corp relief society, DAV, and PVA come to mind for other vet orgs they seem to spend less money on marketing for donations more money on actual disabled vets in need, imo.

 

[sea2summit]

Not really, why not have his-hers...

Left those words on the alter long ago.

 

[newbury]

We've always pooled our money and discussed large purchase before spending.

Yeah, we did that. I'm just amazed at the increase of what is considered a "large purchase". It started near $100, now it's well over $1,000, maybe even $5K.

 

[MossRoad]

I can see business arrangements, but in most cases where the couple have kept their finances separate seems to be when one of them does not expect to stay married.

Same with keeping separate names. If one has established a professional reputation I understand not changing the name upon marriage, but otherwise it seems that they're really not committed to each other as a team. (Either one can get a name change, it doesn't have to be the wife)

I asked my wife what she wanted to do with her last name when we got married. She said she wanted to change it to mine(ours). I got all sentimental and thanked her. She started laughing and said it's because she didn't want the hassle of keeping two names and didn't really care. My teary eyes soon dried up.

 

[ovrszd]

I have cash everywhere myself. I have a penchant for C notes.

My wife just shakes her head when she looks in the truck console.....

 

[MossRoad]

Left those words on the alter long ago.

I too....

I mean, I do.

 

[MossRoad]

Yeah, we did that. I'm just amazed at the increase of what is considered a "large purchase". It started near $100, now it's well over $1,000, maybe even $5K.

Yeah, as we get older and more established nest egg, we don't blink an eye about dropping $200 at the grocery store every other week, but still discuss buying $150 in new Christmas lights before purchase.

I guess groceries it's just expected to survive.

One time we didn't discuss some things about a large purchase. I've told this before.

We decided it was time to get a new tractor. We agreed on the price. And a new trailer, too. Went to the financial institution, sat down at the loan desk. Guy asked us how much we wanted to borrow. I looked at my wife and said tractor with attachments is $12,500, trailer is $2500. So we need $15K. She nodded her head then told the loan officer we were going to borrow $30K because she was getting a car.

I looked at her. She looked at me. One of those no words needed moments when you know you have to do what's best to ensure your own survival.

I looked at the loan officer and said "Yep. We need $30K."

 

[riptides]

What's yours is yours and what's mine is negotiable. comes to mind.

But not in my relationship.

 

[MossRoad]

My wife just shakes her head when she looks in the truck console.....

I've got Tylenol, hand sanitizer, a couple old face masks, and a trailer brake controller in mine.

 

[riptides]

Yeah, as we get older and more established nest egg, we don't blink an eye about dropping $200 at the grocery store every other week, but still discuss buying $150 in new Christmas lights before purchase.

I guess groceries it's just expected to survive.

One time we didn't discuss some things about a large purchase. I've told this before.

We decided it was time to get a new tractor. We agreed on the price. And a new trailer, too. Went to the financial institution, sat down at the loan desk. Guy asked us how much we wanted to borrow. I looked at my wife and said tractor with attachments is $12,500, trailer is $2500. So we need $15K. She nodded her head then told the loan officer we were going to borrow $30K because she was getting a car.

I looked at her. She looked at me. One of those no words needed moments when you know you have to do what's best to ensure your own survival.

I looked at the loan officer and said "Yep. We need $30K."

LOL. My SO is a salesman's worst nightmare.

I love her to death as she can make deals. And, she always manages to do the right thing. Bigger tractor, bigger ZTR...go big or go home.

And I warn the sales people about her, she will wait them out, under price them, gnaw at them.... I wish I had half her negotiating skills. It is an art to say the least. Very lucky she is my SO.

 

[IndyJay]

...
I looked at her. She looked at me. One of those no words needed moments when you know you have to do what's best to ensure your own survival.

I looked at the loan officer and said "Yep. We need $30K."

Fixed it for you...
"I looked at her. She looked at me. One of those no words needed moments when you know you have to do... to get your tractor".

 

[Oaktree]

Kinda interesting how some married folks keep their finances separate. His and hers money.

We've always pooled our money and discussed large purchase before spending.

I know some folks do it because of second marriages, some business arrangements, etc. It's just and odd concept to us.

Depends on circumstances. My wife and I keep our finances separate, split any household expenses. We were in our 50s when we met, had considerable difference in our assets and lived together for almost 4 years before getting married. It works for us.
I imagine it would have been different had we met when we were both just starting out.

 

[IndyJay]

Depends on circumstances. My wife and I keep our finances separate, split any household expenses. We were in our 50s when we met, had considerable difference in our assets and lived together for almost 4 years before getting married. It works for us.
I imagine it would have been different had we met when we were both just starting out.

Yes, I agree that it is different for older couples getting together later in life. But would never leave new spouse out of inheritance even in that case. There would be an equitable split between her and blood relatives.

 

[tallyho8]

I have made provisions to support therapeutic horse riding. Equine facilities as a whole (and farming) are losing too much ground on a daily basis. Setting aside something for others to enjoy what I do just has a ring of common sense to it.

This is one of the things I wanted to do but gave up on due to lack of support by the community. When I was running my horse shows we did a lot of benefits for the therapeutic riding community but with disasters closing down some arenas and more and more subdivisions against horses and some nearby towns even banning horses, there are no more of these places in our area.

I even went so far as to try to get an arena built in our area and got a commitment from one man to donate 14 acres for it and had pledges for over $20,000 so far to build it and it was voted down.

Waggaman Fairgrounds

Waggaman Fairgrounds

69.65.28.126

 

[2manyrocks]

There is no animal shelter in my county. People raised money to buy a closed hardware store building that had covered outdoor lumber storage areas that could have been converted to house dogs. The guy that owned the building was using it for k-9 training, but somehow the county shot the shelter use down due to zoning.

 

[gsganzer]

Donate to a youth agriculture program. I don't know if you have the equivalent of 4H or FFA in the land down under. It could help build them a facility, fund an annual event(s), scholarships, equipment etc.

 

[goeduck]

Kinda interesting how some married folks keep their finances separate. His and hers money.

We've always pooled our money and discussed large purchase before spending.

I know some folks do it because of second marriages, some business arrangements, etc. It's just and odd concept to us.

Good that you have a wife who understands spending and thinks as you do.

Completely the opposite here. Early on when we had a single joint account I went to pay the rent and guess what? Not enough money. She had gone shopping for clothes and did not tell me.... Long story but, after that in an attempt to isolate money for the house, food etc. we set up 2 more accounts, so we had hers, mine and ours (joint). We were each to contribute to the joint account and have our own money. I was traveling for work constantly so she ended up getting the mail and paying bills since I was barely home. She would tell me over the phone that we were running short of money and I would add to the joint account. Over time all the closets (even the kid's) were filling up with her clothes and the garage with stuff she bought. When I was at home I never could find the bank statements (she later admitted to destroying them). I had to go to the bank and get statements to see what was going on. Not only did she stop contributing to the joint account, she started transferring money from it to her account. I put and end to that and closed the joint account and made sure she had no access to my account. I paid all of the bills, we finally became stable and are now considered in the top 1% wealth wise. Great woman, just not a money person.

 

[MossRoad]

I realize everyone has their own system of working their financing with their spouse.
My grandfather came home and handed his barber money to my grandma every day. She managed their rental duplexes, and all of the household money.

My mother and father did it jointly.

My in-laws had separate accounts: his and hers. They also used the envelope system for keeping track of bill payments. They kept their pension checks separate. The did well for themselves. Mom still cashes her pension check monthly. She will not switch to direct deposit.

Wife and I are merged accounts. I no longer write checks. I may have taken cash from the ATM machines 3-4 times last year. Otherwise, everything on the debit card. I always give her the receipts out of habit, but she balances on line so doesn't really need them. If I'm going to spend over $100 on something, I always ask her if there's enough in the account first. She laughs at me and says "Yes dear." I think I do it just out of courtesy at this point. About once a month we jointly stare at the bank statements on-line just to stay on the same page.

My brother in-law and his wife have been married around 25 years and still do completely separate accounts.

To each their own, I guess. All of us are/were still on our first marriages, so something's working for us so far.

 

[MossRoad]

On that note, does anyone use a written budget?

We never had one written down, but somehow managed to always be cognizant of what we had to spend each month and save accordingly. We kind of had an oral history of family finances that we handed down frequently over the years.

 

[MossRoad]

Good that you have a wife who understands spending and thinks as you do.

....

Yes, but I'll add that she does not speak the same language as me. Neither do my daughters. Neither did my mom or sisters. Or my aunts. Hmmmm....