Growing Old With Dignity

[ultrarunner]

When I stayed at her house after she went into the facility I could not believe the solicitors that called on her place. One took her for $15k and the check was not in her handwriting, only the signature. I got most of that back, but it was not easy.

Not only do you need to worry about long term care, but keeping the money. There are sharks out there.

This is the God's honest truth... I decided to answer every call last Friday when I was with Mom and every single one was a scam or solicitation... 13 calls in 6 hours...

Makes a person not want to have a phone on anymore...

They really do prey on the elderly... anything from an arrest warrant for back taxes, grand daughter needs bail, Microsoft Virus and all kinds of "Charities"

I had to take all of her credit cards and we still lost almost a $1000 that year...

A lot of what the good Senior Centers do is protect residents from these sharks...

The last caller was the IRS and I said HOW CAN YOU LOOK AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR???

 

[Sigarms]

Did you derail?? Where did I insinuate no man is without sin??? Show me where anyone that's posted on this thread insinuated no man is without sin??

Apologies, post wasn't directed towards you, but the quote from the other member.

The reality is we can all follow the 10 commandments, but we all fall short.

Also, I don't see others mocking Christian's for trying to lead a good life (following the 10 commandments), but I do see others mocking Christians at time due to their hypocrisy at times.

 

[Sigarms]

Sig, God is big enough that he doesn't need me to defend him.

You can believe whatever you want, as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

Im done discussing with you what is precious to me.

I'm not asking you to defend God, I'm asking you to defend you're reasoning that it seems if you break "the not kill" commandment, you go to H E double toothpicks.

If I remember correctly, Jesus actually hung out with a lot of people who broke the 10 commandments. One reason why a lot of those in power didn't really care for him IMO.

 

[Diggin It]

I don't need 10 and a mythical being.

I only need one, maybe two.

> Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

> First, do no harm.

They pretty much cover everything humans do, or should do. The second is widely believed to be part of the Hippocratic Oath doctors take, yet they don't abide by it; often doing us harm by making us suffer needlessly and raiding our finances. But then you get the MedThieves involved and they even dispute the oath, the source of it and whether doctors take it (or any) at all:

First, do no harm - Harvard Health Blog - Harvard Health Publishing

 

[Sysop]

I guess OP never learned about "family first"? How about "the golden rule" of 'treat others as you would want to be treated"?

It isn't a burden for a family that cares, to tend to the needs of a family member who is unable. It is simply called LOVE. Without that, why are any of us here? If having a family member be "a burden" were really a thing in most peoples' minds, there would be a lot less folk having kids...

As humans, we require care in our early years as well as our older years; it is an inescapable fact. Early years, we are all dependent upon the love of those around us to survive. Our later years, we can prepare for. Some folk choose to work and save in hopes of having enough (it nearly never is enough). Some folk have several kids that can help along the way. Some folk rely on government or insurance. Some folk get involved in churches and other community groups. In the end, all of those solutions require someone to care enough to ensure they have the intended outcome. The reason saving is never enough is because we continue to deflate the value of a dollar. If the kids simply consider you a burden, you can't expect help there. Government programs and insurance could end at any time given the way the world works. If ya can't get your kids to help, do you really think some community group will have much of an effect?

If nobody cares, if there is no love, we're doomed. Do your best, set proper examples, show love. Hopefully one day it will be returned. Considering folk to be burdens is a sure way to become one yourself.

 

[Thall303]

Well said and well thought out.

 

[Beltzington]

I guess OP never learned about "family first"? How about "the golden rule" of 'treat others as you would want to be treated"?

That is very sanctimonious from someone ignorant of the facts.

My parents lived with my wife and I for the last 8-years, we have provided for them both financially and personally for the last 16 years. So please share how you have demonstrated your family first and lived the golden rule with your parents?

Comparing raising kids to caring for parents is typical for someone who has never actually provided daily care for failing family member and/or have not made any preparations for the time when they can no longer care of themselves. Hopefully this discussion has at least started folks to at least consider the inevitable.

 

[Complete Turf Care]

If my parents were not in an assisted living home now, and I had to provide care for them, I would have to shut down my business and I would be bankrupt in a short time. The need 24 hour assistance. They can not cook, bathe, or much else for themselves except feed themselves.

This thread has given me an increased urgency to plan for my wife and myself, as my dad did for himself.

I have 3 brothers and 2 sisters, and I provide more assistance to my parents than all of them combined. I don't mind providing for them at all, and I'm not angry at my siblings for them not helping so much. There are good reasons they can't or don't help, and I'm okay with that.

I just pray every day that the Good Lord will guide my decisions in their care.

 

[Opti-Mist]

If my parents were not in an assisted living home now, and I had to provide care for them, I would have to shut down my business and I would be bankrupt in a short time. The need 24 hour assistance. They can not cook, bathe, or much else for themselves except feed themselves.

This thread has given me an increased urgency to plan for my wife and myself, as my dad did for himself.

I have 3 brothers and 2 sisters, and I provide more assistance to my parents than all of them combined. I don't mind providing for them at all, and I'm not angry at my siblings for them not helping so much. There are good reasons they can't or don't help, and I'm okay with that.

I just pray every day that the Good Lord will guide my decisions in their care.

Amen brother.

 

[YanmarFever]

If my parents were not in an assisted living home now, and I had to provide care for them, I would have to shut down my business and I would be bankrupt in a short time. The need 24 hour assistance. They can not cook, bathe, or much else for themselves except feed themselves.

This thread has given me an increased urgency to plan for my wife and myself, as my dad did for himself.

I have 3 brothers and 2 sisters, and I provide more assistance to my parents than all of them combined. I don't mind providing for them at all, and I'm not angry at my siblings for them not helping so much. There are good reasons they can't or don't help, and I'm okay with that.

I just pray every day that the Good Lord will guide my decisions in their care.

You're a good son..

 

[goeduck]

We are hoping to have in home care when the time comes that we need assistance. Not cheap but not many options are.

 

[ultrarunner]

So far... the family, extended family just keep working until they drop... I don't mean they didn't slow down but on family farms there are always chores needing to be done... even Grandpa in his 80's would feed the milk cows on Sunday to give the kids a break and help out when times were busy... plus he was always mending and sharpening things...

Never thought of it but I guess it is a blessing to pass living the life you want...

A few months ago my cousin's father in law... also a farmer was out in the field and did not come in for lunch... he had a heart attack at 71...

At his funeral... so many said he went out doing what he loved... and what a blessing it was and he left the farm in good order...

A common theme is these are all lifelong active people that most definitely have slowed down but never retired...

 

[Jstpssng]

So far... the family, extended family just keep working until they drop... I don't mean they didn't slow down but on family farms there are always chores needing to be done... even Grandpa in his 80's would feed the milk cows on Sunday to give the kids a break and help out when times were busy... plus he was always mending and sharpening things...

Never thought of it but I guess it is a blessing to pass living the life you want...

A few months ago my cousin's father in law... also a farmer was out in the field and did not come in for lunch... he had a heart attack at 71...

At his funeral... so many said he went out doing what he loved... and what a blessing it was and he left the farm in good order...

A common theme is these are all lifelong active people that most definitely have slowed down but never retired...[/b]

My mother's 89 year old neighbor had a bad spell; shoulder surgery and a few other issues. One of the goals which helped her through it was to recover enough to play her trombone again.
She does. :thumbsup:

 

[ultrarunner]

It has me at a crossroads... lots of my friends and co-workers are retiring... seems new ones every month and most move away from family and lifelong friends when they leave California and the home they have known for 40 to 60 years... it is a real trend in that few retire in place.

It could be the draw of cashing out but I think many think it is the thing to do... just learned this week that two more are moving or have already bought in Arizona...

It has been awhile since I was last in AZ but it almost sounds like vast parts are becoming California expat colonies...

I've also seen the heartbreak of a lifetime of planning like with my High School teacher... well loved and respected across the board... what a great guy...

He retired with a big send off... his students bought tickets for Hamilton as a send off… he retired on a Thursday and Saturday was the show... he missed the show as he suffered a massive heart attack Friday in his sleep...

His bucket list was long and he had planned a family vacation for kids, grandkids and extended family...

It does make one think especially since I have been going to a lot more funerals of late...

There is a lot said to be going out on your own terms...

 

[Larry Caldwell]

Ate Fish today just like the last several Friday's..

My doc told me to eat more seafood. Yes, Sir! He said the best kind is the seafood I catch myself. The wife and I had ling cod Friday night. Yeah, bragging just a little. Ling is not easy to catch. First you have to catch another fish, then the ling will swallow the first fish, and if you are careful you can land it. It's one of the best tasting fish in the world.

If you want to grow old with dignity, do it with a fishing rod in your hand. Doctor's orders.

 

[Larry Caldwell]

Normally I do the same but when someone starts mocking my religion and beliefs, I will defend them.

Also, I may have missed it but I didn't read of anyone here on TBN threatening damnation to other people. Besides, no human being has that power nor right.

My final thoughts on this subject here on TBN:

HAPPY EASTER to everyone in commemoration of our Lord, Jesus Christ's Resurrection.

Yeah, I don't buy that. Human consciousness requires a functioning human brain. When the old squash rots, that's the end of the line. There is no life after death.

I'm a certified Blue Domer. The outdoors is all the church I need. We all follow the same cycle of birth, life, and death right along with everything else. All that lives is born to die. Enjoy it while you are here. There won't be a second chance.

 

[atsah]

My doc told me to eat more seafood. Yes, Sir! He said the best kind is the seafood I catch myself. The wife and I had ling cod Friday night. Yeah, bragging just a little. Ling is not easy to catch. First you have to catch another fish, then the ling will swallow the first fish, and if you are careful you can land it. It's one of the best tasting fish in the world.

If you want to grow old with dignity, do it with a fishing rod in your hand. Doctor's orders.

Have eaten cod in the past but my favorite is haddock, I eat it many times per month, I soak in milk a few hours and bake it, I buy it from a seafood shop that gets it delivered from the coast every morning.. good stuff..

 

[Larry Caldwell]

Have eaten cod in the past but my favorite is haddock, I eat it many times per month, I soak in milk a few hours and bake it, I buy it from a seafood shop that gets it delivered from the coast every morning.. good stuff..

Ling is not a true cod. It's only available in the North Pacific. Haddock and cod come from the Atlantic.

 

[Big Barn]

Salmon for me. High in Omega 3 fatty acids. Three or four times a week. 15 minutes prep/cook time always under $6.