Graduation gifts.....

[Sigarms]

Would the grads be rude to send you a text "saying got your gift TYVM"... or does it need to be scribbed on parchment and hand delivered by a singing dancing clown?

You can have the dancing clown:confused2:

 

[murphy1244]

at least you would like to know it did go to the person. I've had a few lost in the mail.

 

[2LaneCruzer]

There is a difference between being blunt and honest, and being a azzhole about it.

For myself, you give "from your heart" because you don't expect to receive. Yes, there is something nice for being acknowledged for giving, but I believe even the Bible has words for those who give and expect to recieve from their giving.

If I leave a tip for good service, I don't expect a thank you. If you send me a graduation announcement, I take that as a solicitation for a gift. If I send you $100 bucks, I expect an acknowledgement...after all, you had the gonads to send me an announcement, the least you can do is acknowledge it. While we're at it, next time you receive good or exceptional service at a restaurant...or anywhere for that matter, let them know...tell them they did a good job...and see what reaction you get. I admit, it's not often that I get exceptional service, but it does happen...and a simple "You guys give great service...thank you" can spread a lot of joy.

 

[JDgreen227]

If I leave a tip for good service, I don't expect a thank you. If you send me a graduation announcement, I take that as a solicitation for a gift. If I send you $100 bucks, I expect an acknowledgement...after all, you had the gonads to send me an announcement, the least you can do is acknowledge it. While we're at it, next time you receive good or exceptional service at a restaurant...or anywhere for that matter, let them know...tell them they did a good job...and see what reaction you get. I admit, it's not often that I get exceptional service, but it does happen...and a simple "You guys give great service...thank you" can spread a lot of joy.

BINGO....you took the words right out of my mouth, only you said them better. What I don't understand us why so many young people today can spend HOURS A DAY texting, tweeting, emailing, Facebooking, MySpacing, playing games, etc...but heaven forbid they put down their electronic gewgaws and gimcracks and spend a moment writing a thank you note....

As far as great service goes, a week ago tonite my GF and I had an exemplary server at Red Lobster....I praised him to his face, gave him a 25% tip, found the manager on duty as we were leaving and told him what a great server we had....AND upon getting home I logged onto the Red Lobster site and related our experience. And when I get exceptional service from ANYPLACE I always take the time to let them know it.

 

[Sigarms]

If you send me a graduation announcement, I take that as a solicitation for a gift. If I send you $100 bucks, I expect an acknowledgement...after all, you had the gonads to send me an announcement, the least you can do is acknowledge it.

I missed the part where the OP mentioned he got a graduation announcement. Did he?

That said, I would agree it would be nice to get an acknowledgment of money recieved if you got an announcement and you sent money, however, it's not something to get over worked up about if you don't.

I've got to admit, the OP is a WAY better giver than myself when it comes to handing money out for graduation gifts. Only close family members would get a 50 spot from me. I'd know I probably have given more to people down on their luck than to high school graduate I might halfway know LOL

 

[lostcreekranch]

When I graduated from HS in 1966, as oldest of four, my Mother asked me to make a list of who I wanted to send announcements to. Told her that it was an un-needed expense. We were a class of 26 and everyone in the area knew all of us. Still got got many gifts, mostly money.

I decided to go thank every gifter with a personal visit and thank you. Those who lived in town got a thank you basket of vegetables from my garden and fruit from our orchard. The balance were neighbors who I had provided lots of gratis hours, during the years, helping with hay harvest, etc. All got a personal thanks.

I joined the USAF in early 1967 and got nice letters from almost all of them during my years of service and after.

This is a different time. Giving a gift with an implied expectation of thanks is petty to say the least.

My 2 cents worth. Flame me at will.

Sent from my iPad using TractorByNet

 

[tcreeley]

Maybe thank you's, calling cards, etc. in the past served a purpose similar to social media networking these days?

If someone does you a kindness or a favor, do you say thanks because you think you owe it to them per the rules of etiquette, or because you genuinely wish to thank them? A simple thank you with a smile is good.

:thumbsup::thumbsup:

I think there is a great satisfaction in doing someone a favor- without money being involved.

 

[tcreeley]

If the graduation announcement goes into the paper- is everyone obligated to send money? Is this the same for an obituary? Seem awfully mercenary.

 

[JDgreen227]

I missed the part where the OP mentioned he got a graduation announcement. Did he?

That said, I would agree it would be nice to get an acknowledgment of money recieved if you got an announcement and you sent money, however, it's not something to get over worked up about if you don't.

I've got to admit, the OP is a WAY better giver than myself when it comes to handing money out for graduation gifts. Only close family members would get a 50 spot from me. I'd know I probably have given more to people down on their luck than to high school graduate I might halfway know LOL

OP here.....every grad gift I have given, I got the announcement because they were either family, close relatives, or long term friends whose kids I have seen grow up.

$50....you have to be kidding....I spent $65 on dinner a week ago. $50 buys a bag of groceries if you shop carefully. Don't ask what I give to people I really like.

AND....for what it is worth...I personally delivered the vast majority (90%) of grad gifts to the recipient and handed it to them. No way they can tell me they did not get it.

 

[JDgreen227]

If the graduation announcement goes into the paper- is everyone obligated to send money? Is this the same for an obituary? Seem awfully mercenary.

Not sure about the rest of you guys, but the grads I seem to know are such riff raff they never get an announcement in the paper....and the deceased are pretty much the same.....

 

[ljohnson778]

Not sure about the rest of you guys, but the grads I seem to know are such riff raff they never get an announcement in the paper....and the deceased are pretty much the same.....

Man, JD... Just... Man.

It's been said in this thread, if you're giving for return or recognition, reevaluate your true reason for giving. If you want a feeling better than anything else in this world, give anonymously, with no possibility of the recipient knowing who sent the gift. Then, and only then, will you feel the true power and reward of being generous towards another.

As to etiquette and not receiving a thank you... If the recipient was worth me sending a gift to, then the lack of a thank you does not lessen that fact.

Not a lecture, just my own thoughts... YMMV

 

[Sigarms]

OP here.....every grad gift I have given, I got the announcement because they were either family, close relatives, or long term friends whose kids I have seen grow up.

$50....you have to be kidding....I spent $65 on dinner a week ago. $50 buys a bag of groceries if you shop carefully. Don't ask what I give to people I really like.

AND....for what it is worth...I personally delivered the vast majority (90%) of grad gifts to the recipient and handed it to them. No way they can tell me they did not get it.

Hmmm they recipients of your monatary gifts were either family, close relatives or long term friends whose kids you have seen grown up?

You started this post by stating "I have recently given graduation gifts of $100-150 cash to various high school graduates who were not family nor really close friends"

So, either you really know these people or you don't

No, I'm not kidding of a gift of $50 for a a high school graduate. Kids just getting out of high school and why should I give them the impression that they should get something just because they get out of high school? Either the kid is going do something stupid with the money or they're going to save it, it won't make or break the type of person they are going to become due to the dollar amount I give them. If anything, the higher the dollar amount, it just might make the high school graduate stupider LOL

Hard to figure you out. You take the time to hand deliver $100-$150 to people you either do or don't know, yet fly off the deep end when those same people you showed kindness to don't acknowledge your act. If your anywhere over the age of 20, I can't help but think that this isn't the first time you've been let down by others, yet you still go off the handle.

 

[JDgreen227]

Let me get this straight...a number of you are saying you don't have to thank people properly? Well, when a neighbor takes the time to watch your house and feed your dogs and exercise them and collect your mail when you are gone for a week, you don't thank them? When a buddy lends you his generator or sump pump and takes the time to deliver them, you don't thank them? When you give a half cord of dry firewood to a friend, they don't thank you? When your spouse of significant other gives you an anniversary gift, you don't thank them? If a church lets you borrow tables and chairs for an event, you don't thank the minister?

So...tell me what the difference is here.

 

[Sigarms]

Let me get this straight...a number of you are saying you don't have to thank people properly? Well, when a neighbor takes the time to watch your house and feed your dogs and exercise them and collect your mail when you are gone for a week, you don't thank them? When a buddy lends you his generator or sump pump and takes the time to deliver them, you don't thank them? When you give a half cord of dry firewood to a friend, they don't thank you? When your spouse of significant other gives you an anniversary gift, you don't thank them? If a church lets you borrow tables and chairs for an event, you don't thank the minister?

So...tell me what the difference is here.

1. You're dealing with a teenager.

2. Per the examples you've given, you're giving time and effort. Giving money is easy and simple.

You stated you "hand delivered" the money to these graduates. You mean to tell me that when you handed them a graduation card, you didn't get one "thank you" when you handed over the card????

 

[Deere Dude]

Let me get this straight...a number of you are saying you don't have to thank people properly? Well, when a neighbor takes the time to watch your house and feed your dogs and exercise them and collect your mail when you are gone for a week, you don't thank them? When a buddy lends you his generator or sump pump and takes the time to deliver them, you don't thank them? When you give a half cord of dry firewood to a friend, they don't thank you? When your spouse of significant other gives you an anniversary gift, you don't thank them? If a church lets you borrow tables and chairs for an event, you don't thank the minister?

So...tell me what the difference is here.

I was brought up that a thank you is important and I think it still is. Of course I had to learn that behind the woodshed a couple times. Anytime someone does something for you, you thank them, even if you hired them and paid them, unless they really screwed something up. I expect a thank you also. It is free and doesn't cost anybody anything but a little consideration for someone else other than themselves.
I gave my brother a couple cords of split soft wood for his outside burner. Him and his wife came out and loaded it and he just complained that it was chit wood and not oak. It was good clean wood that I would burn with no hesitation, but they left and there wasn't a thank at all. It would have been a common courtesy to at least say, "Thanks for the wood" or whatever else.

 

[Sigarms]

I gave my brother a couple cords of split soft wood for his outside burner. Him and his wife came out and loaded it and he just complained that it was chit wood and not oak. It was good clean wood that I would burn with no hesitation, but they left and there wasn't a thank at all. It would have been a common courtesy to at least say, "Thanks for the wood" or whatever else.

Sounds like a brother I wouldn't have over very often.

 

[tcreeley]

Years ago a co-worker said he had some down trees on his land and wanted to know if I was interested. I had a pickup, so I said sure- though I wasn't interested. He said he would make it worth my while- give me 50 bucks for gas. So we are there in his field cutting age old dead trees, limbs that had fallen. I am using my chainsaw and gas. The wood is next to useless, but I figured I'd at least break even. When we are all done and at his house - he walks into his garage and comes back with a CB that someone had given him for a gift (worth less than 50). He hands it to me and says- there we are even. He chuckled and said it's good to get that field cleaned up. I smiled, thanked him and drove away- thinking "what a jerk".

 

[2LaneCruzer]

Years ago a co-worker said he had some down trees on his land and wanted to know if I was interested. I had a pickup, so I said sure- though I wasn't interested. He said he would make it worth my while- give me 50 bucks for gas. So we are there in his field cutting age old dead trees, limbs that had fallen. I am using my chainsaw and gas. The wood is next to useless, but I figured I'd at least break even. When we are all done and at his house - he walks into his garage and comes back with a CB that someone had given him for a gift (worth less than 50). He hands it to me and says- there we are even. He chuckled and said it's good to get that field cleaned up. I smiled, thanked him and drove away- thinking "what a jerk".

Looks like there's hope for you after all TC...

 

[Pixguy]

Let me get this straight...a number of you are saying you don't have to thank people properly? Well, when a neighbor takes the time to watch your house and feed your dogs and exercise them and collect your mail when you are gone for a week, you don't thank them? When a buddy lends you his generator or sump pump and takes the time to deliver them, you don't thank them? When you give a half cord of dry firewood to a friend, they don't thank you? When your spouse of significant other gives you an anniversary gift, you don't thank them? If a church lets you borrow tables and chairs for an event, you don't thank the minister?

So...tell me what the difference is here.

It appears that some folks who raise their kids to not bother to send Thank you cards also own tractors.

 

[2LaneCruzer]

Sounds like a brother I wouldn't have over very often

.

Isn't that pretty much the gist of this whole conversation, i.e. a favor worth receiving is deserving of a thanks? To not thank someone, especially for a graduation gift of $100 shows me a lack of class, not to mention a lack of respect and an ungrateful attitude. It also says something about your character and the type of person you are. High school grads should be given some latitude, I think, because they are dependent, but they should have been taught better...and it still sends a message. Ungrateful adults are another matter; failure to thank someone sends me a message that these are not the type of people that I want to associate with...and I can name a few in that category.

As for giving to individuals who are not close friends and not family, there are always reasons. We received an announcement from a young man that we had never met, although his mother is a customer of my wife...a seamstress...who had done work for her. She also had a radical mastectomy recently...and came to our anniversary party. She and her husband are acquaintances, yes, "friends", yes, but close friends, no. Did we send him some money? Yes. Did he send a thank you note? Yes.

Do I expect a brass band and a plaque with "thank you" engraved for every little favor? No, of course not. But if you're my neighbor, and I bring you a grocery bag full of tomatoes, cucumbers, onions and peppers fresh out of my garden, do I demand a "Thank you"? No, but if it isn't acknowledged in some way, it's the last you'll ever get. Just a "thank you" is sufficient.