Need "family advice"

maximus1277 · Nov 9, 2012

Need help with a family issue.... My cousin keeps asking to borrow my baby 2320 tlb to do a lot of heavy clean up around his house. Every family event we attend, he pushes me to drop off the tractor for an extended period if time. Now, couple of relevant details: I don't borrow things from him and I don't owe him any favors. I did offer to do the work for him but he seemed offended that I'm hesitant to just let him have it... The last time I let family use my trick, it came back with a big dent which no one knew anything about. I don't want to ba selfish, but I don't want any issues later ....

maximus1277 · Nov 9, 2012

Sorry about the spelling, my phone app does not show text until I post the message.

brin · Nov 9, 2012

maximus1277 said:
Need help with a family issue.... My cousin keeps asking to borrow my baby 2320 tlb to do a lot of heavy clean up around his house. Every family event we attend, he pushes me to drop off the tractor for an extended period if time. Now, couple of relevant details: I don't borrow things from him and I don't owe him any favors. I did offer to do the work for him but he seemed offended that I'm hesitant to just let him have it... The last time I let family use my trick, it came back with a big dent which no one knew anything about. I don't want to ba selfish, but I don't want any issues later ....

First - welcome aboard....Now as far as your cousin goes...you have done exactly what I do with neighbors or relatives that want to borrow my tractor...I offer to do the work for them....and I tell them my insurance will not cover me if I let someone else use the tractor...I also tell them the value of the tractor and how bad I would feel if they had to pay for it should something go wrong...It has always worked well for me...I started doing that after I loaned a tractor out once and it never came back...I had to go pick it up and spend about $1K to repair it..>So Lesson learned.....I will loan small tools ...and at times that is the last I see of them...but a tractor is too expensive to loan out...I think you need to stick to your offer...

maximus1277 said:
Sorry about the spelling, my phone app does not show text until I post the message.

TripleR · Nov 9, 2012

Pretty much what Brin said, I don't loan tractors. My brothers and I own tractors jointly, but one owns one of his own and I own several of my own. My sons are part of our farming/maintenance, so they use them, but I simply don't loan tractors to family or friends. I will do the work if feasible, but I or my sons go where our tractors go. Been down that road in my youth and don't do it anymore.

frogfish · Nov 9, 2012

My father would always say, Never a lender or a borrower be .

JJZ 109 · Nov 9, 2012

Just last night I had a friend of mine ask me about renting my Bobcat out to a friend of his. I told him that I come with my machine or it's a no go.
I guess the easy way out would have been to ask what the rental places ask or more. Machinery & repairs cost far too much to let a cheapskate use your stuff for free. Especially for an extended period. I have too many things that I use my machine around home for to let it go at all.

aczlan · Nov 9, 2012

brin said:
First - welcome aboard....Now as far as your cousin goes...you have done exactly what I do with neighbors or relatives that want to borrow my tractor...I offer to do the work for them....and I tell them my insurance will not cover me if I let someone else use the tractor...I also tell them the value of the tractor and how bad I would feel if they had to pay for it should something go wrong...It has always worked well for me...I started doing that after I loaned a tractor out once and it never came back...I had to go pick it up and spend about $1K to repair it..>So Lesson learned.....I will loan small tools ...and at times that is the last I see of them...but a tractor is too expensive to loan out...I think you need to stick to your offer...

I agree. If the tractor, baler, mower-conditioner, etc go out, they come with an operator for 2 reasons:
1. If I break it, I know how it broke and I am responsible for it
2. If something is going to break, I know the tractor better than anyone else and as such, will probably notice that something isn't right first.

Aaron Z

zzvyb6 · Nov 9, 2012

Welcome to the tractor counseling forum !

Tell him you don't lend out anything with a motor, but you will be glad to drop off a shovel when you find a good deal on one at a garage sale. I don't see why you have a problem. Look him in the eye and tell him NO and that you are sick and tired of him asking. So what if he gets angry and shoots himself in the head. I'd call it a blessing...

Get a testosterone patch...

"Well that's all for today; our time is about up. Let's talk some more about this at our next session. That will be $120."

Look at all the money we saved you !

smstonypoint · Nov 9, 2012

I agree with the advice offered so far. If he seems to be offended, so be it.

You might want to check your insurance policy if you end up doing the work for him. I would need to check my policy, but I believe that my equipment is covered only while on my farm.

Steve

maximus1277 · Nov 9, 2012

zzvyb6 said:
Welcome to the tractor counseling forum !

Tell him you don't lend out anything with a motor, but you will be glad to drop off a shovel when you find a good deal on one at a garage sale. I don't see why you have a problem. Look him in the eye and tell him NO and that you are sick and tired of him asking. So what if he gets angry and shoots himself in the head. I'd call it a blessing...

Get a testosterone patch...

"Well that's all for today; our time is about up. Let's talk some more about this at our next session. That will be $120."

Look at all the money we saved you !

Thanks for the advice..... You are right: Saying NO to family does not come easy for me. Check is in the mail.

TripleR · Nov 9, 2012

I don't think saying no to family is easy for most of us either, we have just found it to be the best for us and those involved. It may not be in all situations for all people.

kuboman · Nov 9, 2012

There are always those family members that will abuse the 'family' relationship. My 2c is to find out exactly what he needs it for and then set down some firm rules about what it does, when it comes back etc. If he then breaks any one of the rules you have grounds to refuse further borrowings. At that point you do not need to feel bad and he will have no grounds for hurt feelings. My bet is he will stop borrowing your equipment if his feet are held to the coals so to speak.

nybirdman · Nov 9, 2012

Never again ,did it once;Kept my brand new tractor for six weeks.When I went to pick it up it was parked next to road with the key in it!Broke one of the cab lites(which was fairly minor) that I replaced.They called a day later to see if I had taken the tractor!The only one I will let use my tractor is my son and he is a professional operator,and he never asked.

creekbend · Nov 9, 2012

I realize that it is difficult to say no to people; especially Family. It is not my intention to persuade you in any way or fashion in regards to your display of kindness. Just a thought? During my lifetime, on many occasions, I have had tools and equipment misused and damaged by loaning them out. It is human nature to take better care of things, when one has to work hard and save the money to purchase machinery. Most people will not consider this issue. I will only supply you with only one example-there are many. A year ago, I finally saved enough money to buy a Stihl brush cutter. This was the commercial unit with bicycle handles; etc. One of our Son-in-Law's asked to borrow it, and I allowed him to use it. Two days later, I went to our Daughter's home to visit the Grandchildren. My SIL's truck was in the driveway. In the back of the pickup was my brush cutter. There was a heavy rain the previous night and the brush cutter was left out all night long. Best wishes. I wish to reiterate that it is not my intention to be judgmental. But we don't live in a perfect World and people are definitely not perfect. I guarantee you that if you check with other people, there will be a large percentage that will tell you that, in many incidents, FAMILY members will be at the fore front in taking advantage of other kind hearted Family members.

crankshaft21 · Nov 9, 2012

Once you learn to say NO, it gets easier the rest of the time. That applies to all, family and friends.

ericher69 · Nov 9, 2012

Yup NO here also

zoltanthegypsy · Nov 9, 2012

A little bit of a tangent ... a diving buddy is an exceptional boatwright, fiberglass whiz and mechanic.

He gets asked to do stuff by friends and family all the time. When asked how much he charges, his reply to close friends and family: "the going rate or free -- you pick".

So far it's worked well for him and called BS on those who ask, hoping to take advantage. One day it's going to cost him big

Z.

RobertN · Nov 9, 2012

I generally go with my tractor. You want to borrow the tractor, you're borrowing me too. There are a couple exceptions, but only a couple.

And dont forget, the time it takes to hookup and load trailer, transport, drop off, disconnect trailer, and doo over to go pick the tractor up again...

Same with my car or truck. You want to use my truck to move that refridgerator? The truck comes with me...

kcender · Nov 9, 2012

No one has ever asked to borrow my tractor but if they did I would say no.

gwdixon · Nov 9, 2012

Nobody, no matter how well-intentioned, will ever take care of your equipment better than you do. Making deals, setting parameters, even signing contracts to cover damage and repairs is not good enough. A family member may weasel out and, since it is "family", will probably get away with it.

Home insurance only covers your tractor on your property.

Anyway, my retort is always, "I love my tractor as much as my wife. You wouldn't ask to borrow my wife for your personal use now would you."

It usually shuts them up. Unfortunately, I have an attractive wife. But they get the idea when put in those terms.