I'm extremely open to a used tractor
Most used tractors/TLBs are fine. BTW, like most people on this forum I call both kinds of machine as "tractors". If we say TLB that's because it has some specific feature that is a little different on a construction machine as opposed to an agricultural machine. Basically a machine that will work for a weekend it will work for a decade. That's why dealers are open to your taking one home and doing that. Tractors are incredibly durable. But looking for the kind of deal that you can so often find in the used car market is a complete waste of time in the tractor market. The used tractor market is surprisingly consistent in price. You can get old looking for a deal where a 10% variation in price would be huge.
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I think the JDJ10 is a little too large for my spaces here.
Good. Then we've established an upper limit.
The truth is that most tractors could get by with less HP. What is more useful is more hydraulics, more weight, a wider stance, and a lower CG.
From what I hear you saying, I think 25hp would be a decent lower target, and I think you will be better served with a TLB having an integral loader and hoe than with a tractor where both are added on. We can discuss why if you want.
How does the lower HP but higher gpm hydraulics translate/compare
In general HP and hydraulics are balanced to one another. Don't worry about that, within wide limits, both will be adequate for the machine. Although having 2 or more separate hydraulic pumps for things like power steering, BH swing, etc. is a big advantage, it is something usually found on larger tractors.
Tractors with 3pt hitches are one world and tend to use their HP to pull implements so they put their sophistication into doing that. TLBs are the machines with an integral loader and BH like the JD110, and they lean more to using their HP to run higher gpm and pressure in the hydraulics...and sometimes do this via additional pumps.
I also have lots of rolling terrain, so stability is a huge concern
I think stability should be your largest concern. Stability is not only a large and legitimate safety concern, but on land with any slope at all the side hill stability will dictate how much usefulness you get from the machine.
People whose land is flat always underestimate the importance of side hill stability. Stability is #1 for me and sounds like it might be for you too.
TLBs tend to have a lower CG than tractors. That is another argument in their favor.
Tires affect stability more than CG does. After all, CG is variable when you have a loader and hoe.....think about that for awhile. Imagine yourself on the machine.
Wide tire spacing rules, you definitely want a wide spacing on the tires. On a tractor, be sure to check that the tires can be both reversed and spaced out farther. Tractors and TLBs are different in that regard, TLBs tend to be designed with the tires already at maximum tire spacing. They get away with that with a lower CG and wide flat treaded industrial R4 tires. You should probably stay away from R1 or Ag tread. Ag tread - particularly on the front wheels - is not what you want on side hills.
If you are going to work on sloping ground consider that R4 or industrial tread has heavy sidewalls, a wider flat tire tread, and for that reason has a consistent contact patch as the steering angle changes or the tractor leans. That's important. The other option is R3 turfs - which reduce CG nicely and are even wider than R4s but are costly and lower traction. They are good for some purposes however - mostly for rocky ground where traction can actually be higher than any other tread. Or of course where you have delicate grass/clover. Turfs require chains in the snow, ice, and sometimes in mud.
I'm a little puzzled by the "all over the map" comment.
So was I.
I don't know exactly what I want in loader lift in weight or height
I like to have over 2500 lbs lift, but I did most of my work with a tractor that could only lift 1000 lbs - and it couldn't lift that safely as it was too large a percentage of the tractor's own weight. On uneven ground it was nerve wracking.
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Since I won't be loading dump trucks, loading height isn't a consideration
No, but being able to load items onto a pickup truck sure is. And having a long reach is sure handy. Make sure it can load a pickup. Along with that, having a BH with a long reach and able to move the bucket long distances up and down turns out to be more important on my land than the digging force. Curling the bucket always has enough digging force - even on small machines.
I'm wondering if the top & tilt feature would be valuable. I assume the alternative is to get off and adjust linkage by hand.
Yes. Nice to have, but you can do it by hand. A luxury, not a deal maker. It can be added to any machine.
Later this week, I will try to visit the Bobcat dealer to see what they offer, which I resisted before due to the distance.
In your shoes I'd use Kubota's well-worked out TLBs as the standard for comparison. They aren't perfect, but I don't know of any better. In something smaller than the JD110 the littler Kubotas might be your only TLB choice. And if you decide you had rather have done it differently Kubota and JD have an advantage on resale.
These are all good machines. We are rich in choices in this country right now. So whatever you get you are going to be surprised at how well it works.
Enjoy, rScotty