Made a boo-boo, what to do??

[Kyle_in_Tex]

John,

Here is your answer:
1) Move down here, buy my place with 25 acres, build your parents a log cabin in the back, let your dad use the gator to have some fun (not too hilly), mow all you want (with all of your mowers) or hire the neighbor to cut the place when you can't, pocket the remaining money (on the sale of y'alls places) and grow hay.
2)Get to know the local JD dealer and how to pronounce "y'all".

PS, turns out my MD is great friends with my JD dealer here too. They were practically brothers living at each others homes growing up.

Merry Christmas!

 

[TRR]

My understanding of "who owns what" when someone passes away is that if it is under their control (i.e. on their property) even if they don't own it (stuff with registrations and titles like cars not included) becomes part of their estate. So, for example, if your wife wants her casserole dish back from the previous get-to-gether, you need a written document that says it's her's. :thumbdown: I for one am not doing this.

I'm not an attorney, or even associated with the legal profession (??), but I thought I'd let everyone know my experience. Things may be different in different states as well.

 

[TripleR]

jcmseven, I won't belabor this, but having known your mother and how she is, surely you have learned how to deal with her and what to expect and I have no advice to you on that point; "grin and bear it come to mind." As to your father, Alzheimer's Disease has struck our family and I know what you are and will be going through. Whenever something would happen, my aunt's standby saying was, "just remember, these are the good times", meaning it only gets worse from here and don't sweat it too much.

Accept the fact that you are going to come up short in the end and learn to live with and plan for that. Don't worry about the money if you can afford it and just enjoy the time with your father who one day won't recognize you.

No matter how much you spend, it will not come close to what your parents spent on you and someday if you are lucky enough to live so long will be taken care of by children who watched how you handled all of this.

I cannot emphasize enough the importance of estate planning etc. We have established an LLC with a "Transfer on Death" to our children, this can be done quite easily; living trusts are also an option.

I suspect none of us has said anything you don't already know.

 

[jcmseven]

My intent when buying these pieces of machinery is that they are for my parents (aside from my 2320 which I would like to have back at some point, but even it is no big deal if not). I have bought a Gator, 950 and assorted other items for my folks and I have no real desire nor expectation to ever get them back. I am an only child, which is both a blessing and a curse. My folks had a chance to come up and visit us for Christmas and it has begun to truly sink in just how challenged they are right now. My father out of his environment gets very confused and paces the night away, and my mother despite having a background in healthcare, is at a loss about how to handle him. As some have mentioned, my role in their daily life is likely to expand over the next year or so--especially in the upkeep of their homes and property. The problem I have now is, of course, that they are behaving like somewhat like injured animals, they reject help at every chance even though it is crystal clear to myself and their longtime neighbors/friends that they are nearing the end of their true full independence. For this reason and others, I am holding tight for the moment to see what this coming year holds and keep them independent as long as they can be. I love doing lawnwork and this is one area where they on average put up the least fight for help.

John M

 

[jenkinsph]

As I suggested in my first post you will be maintaining the lawn and alot more very soon. You will have less time to do it in what with the other jobs you will have.

I spend alot of time on TBN because I can do this while living the care giver role. If someone had suggested to me that I would have 3000+ posts in any forum five years ago I would have told them they were nuts.

The next real problem you will have is distance between your home and theirs, this will make the machinery issues pale by comparison. Try to figure out what the best way to handle this issue before it arrives....soon.

 

[TripleR]

As I suggested in my first post you will be maintaining the lawn and alot more very soon. You will have less time to do it in what with the other jobs you will have.

I spend alot of time on TBN because I can do this while living the care giver role. If someone had suggested to me that I would have 3000+ posts in any forum five years ago I would have told them they were nuts.

The next real problem you will have is distance between your home and theirs, this will make the machinery issues pale by comparison. Try to figure out what the best way to handle this issue before it arrives....soon.

Very good advice; we built a new home and moved when the distance kept us on the road too much and that was a lot of help to everyone. Our jobs were such that we were able to keep them though I had to transfer and my wife had a longer commute. I realize this may not be possible for everyone, but advance planning is needed.