When not to 'Mind Your Business':

DAP · Jun 30, 2004

When not to \'Mind Your Business\':

I have a neighbor across the way - the matriarch has a child I'm guessing is about 8 months old. This matriarch has been witnessed all summer mowing her front lawn (about 1/2 acre) on a JD GT177 holding the baby on her lap.

Now I insist people stay outta my business. To command that, I stay outta there business.

But I cringe bigtime when I see this young women slinging this infant along to do the lawn.

I would bet part of your ranch that her excuse would be 'I have noone to watch him for me so ...'.

Now this is serious for 2 major reasons. 1. It is very dangerous, a serious accident waiting to happen and the loser will be the infant, one way or another. 2. Were the actions of my reporting this result in a Social Service visit and possible separation of Mother and Child, it would sicken me. Other than this most questionable practice, I don't know these people from a whole in the ground.

I do NOT know these people as neighbors or acquaintances, have never spoken with them and don't really have the desire to. I just want her to stop taking that infant on her lap when she mows.

It's a wrastlin match figuring out where the public (me, in this case) has ANY obligation to 'but in' and make a comment or to look the other way.

Socrates, the great philospher (and others) have pined that man is inherently good. All men will come to the aid of a drowning infant for example as second nature.

Things have changed since his day. We have a lot more lawyers and big brother has gotten really BIG.

I think perhaps at best I might stick an anonymous note in their mailbox asking her to re-evaluate whether that's a good idea or not.

Now I used to ride on a lap on the old Farmall when I was a kid. I think the details here are different enough to single it out though.

/forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

boustany · Jun 30, 2004

Re: When not to \'Mind Your Business\':

Always a tough call. Like most dangerous situations, most likely nothing bad will happen.

How will you face yourself (or worse yet a crippled/mangled child) if you say nothing?

Most people doing stupid things don't realize they are stupid. Be prepared to be ignored and even told off. But at least do something.

In the unlikely event the parent & child were separated because of her actions, it would be here actions that were responsible, not yours.

Gatorboy · Jun 30, 2004

Re: When not to \'Mind Your Business\':

I would not do or say anything. The mother is not beating or starving the child (which is when I would step in). Just because an accident could happen, is no reason to stir up trouble.

BigEddy · Jun 30, 2004

Re: When not to \'Mind Your Business\':

My advice - stay out of it. If she in fact has no-one to mind the kid, the kid's a lot safer on her knee than crawling around on the grass, or in the house on its own.

I'm going to get flamed, but I'd much rather have my 3yr old son on my knee while I mow, than running around on the lawn where he can get hit by flying debris. (I hit a tennis ball last week - it flew 126' - I measured!)

Your other options are volunteer to cut her grass for her, or to mind the kid.

Just my opinion - others will differ I'm sure.

IrTxRx · Jun 30, 2004

Re: When not to \'Mind Your Business\':

Mow the lawn for her or... Watch the kid for an hour or so while she mows the lawn by herself /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif. As a dad who frequently takes care of my two kids all by myself all weekend long, I can tell you that an hour alone to take care of some yardwork would be a much appreciated gift. Then when you know her a little better, suggest that short grass while pretty, ain't worth the risk to her infant. There are some things you can't take back or get a "do over " on.

Before reading this board, I used to mow with my 2 yo in my lap... what was I thinking (or not) /forums/images/graemlins/crazy.gif

DAP · Jun 30, 2004

Re: When not to \'Mind Your Business\':

Dave .. so far that's the tact I've taken adn will most likely continue to take. I DID also consider asking her if she needed help with the lawn but a: I barely have time for mine; b: that involves me in the situation and I'd prefer not to be at all;

At the same time, were something to actually ocurr ....

BubbaJr · Jun 30, 2004

Re: When not to \'Mind Your Business\':

Here's one way to get involved without personal contact. Go to your local store that has baby stuff, and buy one of those strap-on (denim?) baby carriers that will hold the baby safely in front of the mom. I doubt that they cost too much. Wrap it up and send it to her with an unsigned note that you have seen her mow her yard with her infant, and you are concerned with the safety of her child, and to please accept this gift with the hope that she will use it when mowing.

If she uses it, you will have peace of mind knowing that you did the right thing. If she doesn't use it, you will still have peace of mind knowing that you tried to do the right thing.

Godd Luck!! /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Gatorboy · Jun 30, 2004

Re: When not to \'Mind Your Business\':

<font color="blue"> At the same time, were something to actually ocurr .... </font>

You can't think that way. She could get into a car accident this afternoon, or fall down the stairs, etc. There are many things that can happen badly to someone. I drive 80 miles a day and I see many accidents, but I am not pulling along side people telling them how to drive safer. Probably a poor example -- but you know if you mentioned something to your neighbor, it would not be taken kindly, and then you have to continue living near her, and always having that uncomfortable feeling every time you two see each other.

Just my personal view on this situation.

KubotaSteve · Jun 30, 2004

Re: When not to \'Mind Your Business\':

I'm afraid I would have to go talk to her. She may get mad but I would feel I did what I could. Of course, mine opinion is slightly biased as to what happened to a friend of ours. He was riding on the hood of his grandfather's mower while the grandfather was mowing. The boy fell of and his left arm went under the mower deck cutting off his thumb and index finger and the tops of his ring finger and pinky, not to mention a huge slice down his forearm. His grandfather was in shock and couldn't do anything (the tractor shut off). Luckily a neighbor came running over with a towel, wrapped the arm tight with the fingers and took off to the hospital. They flew him out to John Hopkins and tried to reattach the fingers but gang green set in and they had to take them back off. He was in the hospital forever and went through numerous surgeries. He then earned the nickname "club" in school because of his hand. It was an awful sight and if the neighbor wouldn't have been around, the kid most likely would have died. To top things off because the neighbor used to have some loud parties, the kids parents ignored him all of the time but after that they changed their tune.
Make a difference and if she chooses not to listen, contact social services. It is no different than leaving a child in a hot vehicle. Both have a chance of not living.
My wife told her sister not to let her husband mow with their baby on his lap. Her response is that he is holding him tight. He hasn't done it lately, but if need be I will contact social services. No need to make a child suffer because of someone's ignorance.

ByronBob · Jun 30, 2004

Re: When not to \'Mind Your Business\':

DAP
I like BubbaJr idea the best. Your a man with a heart so it's bothering you enough to ask for our opinions. Buy the baby holder which straps to her body. You could take the opportunity to introduce yourself while saying I've noticed the little one with you on the tractor and I thought this might work better for you. By doing something like this you have offered a better solution to her dilemna and made an attempt to help your conscience. For $20 out of your pocket your not getting involved in any other way than a charitable contribution would to something like the United Way or whatever.