united you stand

[daedong]

I often watch your ABC NBH, and today i fell of the couch laughing at this
SUSIE GHARIB: And finally, in the "every little bit helps the budget" department comes the story of York, Pennsylvania. Last week, a York city councilman questioned how the cash-strapped city would be able to close a huge $25 million gap in its fire and police pensions. The councilman quipped that the city couldn`t even afford toilet paper. On Sunday, someone dropped off a case of toilet paper at city hall. The toilet paper was given to the public works department and will be used in city buildings. Paul, York`s mayor says he`s pleased the public is paying such close attention to the city`s challenges.

 

[BB_TX]

I hope they included instructions on how to use it. Watching some city governments and city councils, I doubt they would know which end to use it on. /forums/images/graemlins/crazy.gif

 

[Tractors4u]

I work for the government and it has been my experience that management would hire a high dollar consulting firm to come in and tell us the most efficient way to use the toilet paper.

 

[Bob_Skurka]

Brent, I am under the impression that before they hire the high dollar con$ulting firm that first they would delegate the potential uses of the toilet paper to a special study commission, which would then appoint a sub-committee to research con$ulting firms. The whole process usually takes about a year before the sub-committee receives 3 bids, all of which must come from union shops that guarantee to pay prevailing living wage rates. After that, the sub-comittee reports back to the commission which then revises the cost estimate of the con$ulting firm upward to account for cost of living increases, before reporting back to the town council for final debate.

I suspect the toilet paper will be paired up with some "Elmer's Glue Sticks" and distributed to the clerical staff at the town hall as "make your own post-it-note paper" sometime in early to mid 2006.

 

[Junkman]

Easy solution.... close the schools and give each school aged student a $7500 voucher to go to a private school. They would still save money over what it "actually" costs the town to run the school system. As for the toilet paper, the school system probably pays as much for one roll as the entire donated case costs. Am I being too harsh on the school systems??? /forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif /forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif /forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif /forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif /forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif /forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif /forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif

 

[fivestring]

</font><font color="blue" class="small">( I work for the government and it has been my experience that management would hire a high dollar consulting firm to come in and tell us the most efficient way to use the toilet paper. )</font>

And spend $100,000.00 on the study!!!! /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[Tractors4u]

$100K is probably cheap. Our management had a consultant come to our department to tell us how to better perform our job. They started out by asking us what we do, how we do it?, etc, etc. Each time they made a suggested change we countered with why we did it a certain way. We did throw a few ideas their way though. Of course in the end they had to go to our management with something. They gave them our ideas. Management thought they were brilliant. Brilliant, the same things we had been telling them!

 

[BIGUN]

The consulting firm our company hired to determine why equipment wasn’t getting repaired like it used to came up with a good one. It wasn’t because 2/3 of the mechanics had been laid off and the budget had been cut by as much. It was because we need to fill out and hang green cards on the equipment that needs attention and when a mechanic walks by and sees it, he will say, “Hey, that card has been hanging there a pretty long time; maybe I need to work on it.” /forums/images/graemlins/crazy.gif Ha! If you believe that I’ve got a brand new BX23 sitting out in my garage I will sell you for $500, cash in advance to a P.O. Box. /forums/images/graemlins/smirk.gif
We now spend good money on these worthless cards, pay employees good money to make them out and paid some really good money to the “consulting firm” that dreamed this up and it hasn’t helped a thing.

 

[Golfgar4]

</font><font color="blue" class="small">( I suspect the toilet paper will be paired up with some "Elmer's Glue Sticks" and distributed to the clerical staff at the town hall as "make your own post-it-note paper" sometime in early to mid 2006. )</font>

Bob,

I think you forgot to factor in the Paperwork Reduction Act.

Yes, I'm sure that a "valid" use will be determined for the toilet paper (other than it's original designated use). But whatever that might be, the first step in issuing the paper to whoever will be fortunate enough to rate it, will have to fill out at least 4 forms. One form that will justify why they want to use it; a second form to verify that they completed the first form; a third form that authorizes them to remove the product from the storage area; and a fourth form that assures the powers to be that they have complied with all applicable Federal, State and local regulations, including the Paperwork Reduction Act . /forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif

And yes, I am a government employee. /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif

 

[jwstewar]

</font><font color="blue" class="small">( at least 4 forms. One form that will justify why they want to use it; a second form to verify that they completed the first form; a third form that authorizes them to remove the product from the storage area; and a fourth form that assures the powers to be that they have complied with all applicable Federal, State and local regulations, including the Paperwork Reduction Act . )</font>

Don't forget the 5 form: Request to dispose of Government property.

I used to be a government employee. I would say I used to be a government worker, but that would be a lie. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[Inspector507]

Now Now Jim............... /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[BIGUN]

</font><font color="blue" class="small">( The councilman quipped that the city couldn`t even afford toilet paper. On Sunday, someone dropped off a case of toilet paper at city hall. The toilet paper was given to the public works department and will be used in city buildings. Paul, York`s mayor says he`s pleased the public is paying such close attention to the city`s challenges. )</font>

Hey, the answer to their problem is in one of the links above.

Toilet Paper - The Truth
Hand held bidets are fresher and cleaner than toilet paper.

They could just install these in all the city buildings along with some of those heated-air hand dryers mounted down kinda low on the wall and stop buying toilet paper all together. /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[daedong]

BIGUN,
That sounds a bit warm and fuzzie, no work would ever get done then. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif News paper folded diagnally tear the corner /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gifno i want go there.

 

[wroughtn_harv]

I think you hit management between the eyes one that one Brent. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

I was a supervisor at a major telco construction contractor. I was the squeaking wheel. /forums/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

Anyhoo they brought in a management consulting firm to make us more efficient. When we broke for lunch the first day I made a beeline to the main speaker--consultant.

"Good luck Chuck" I said. "I've been saying what you're saying for six months and it's on deaf ears."

He looked at me with a wry grin. "But you're not an expert."

I guess he saw the fire in my eyes and the bow coming up in my back. Because he asked me if I knew what an expert was.

It told him I didn't.

"That's someone with a briefcase and comes from over a hundred miles away."

 

[jwstewar]

/forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif Sorry, I just remember some of the things I used to have to go through just so we could do our job. We would go through all of these and then the higher ups would order a bunch of computer monitors to be dumped into the dumpster. I forget how much of a fine we got for that, but it was less than it could've/should've been had it been a private company.

 

[Junkman]

</font><font color="blue" class="small">( ........................He looked at me with a wry grin. "But you're not an expert."

I guess he saw the fire in my eyes and the bow coming up in my back. Because he asked me if I knew what an expert was.

It told him I didn't.

.......................... )</font>

Expert:
ex..... a has been
pert...... Impudently bold

or in other words.... an Imprudently bold has been..... /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif