I have to tell this true story.
About 40 years ago when my brother and I were teenagers we lived in an old farm house and because this one room was heated from the room below we shared a room. He always put everything in his pockets and laid his pants on the floor by the bed at night so he could get 2 more min of sleep in the morning. Back then everyone wore tight jeans so we did too. One morning we got up and git dressed and just as he got his pants up, buttoned and zipped he jumped up in the air and when he hit the floor his pants were off and a little black snake about a foot long shot out of his pants. He was so shook up he did not see where it went and I was laughing so hard I could hardly see so we never did see where that snake went. He said he got his pants on and something started moving on his inner thigh about 10" from his private parts. The funny thing was he jumped up in the air, unzipped his pants, unbuttoned them, and took them off before he hit the ground. Try it sometime, It can't be done unless you have a snake in your pants.
I should say that he was afraid of snakes and we slept in the camper the rest of the summer.
Every body, just about, has a snake story, so the first guy doesn't stand a chance. Mine is a classic, so I'm going to tell it here...again...because I may have told it already.
Back in the olden days, my Dad was the supervisor of a sand pit, that
shipped sand by rail all over the Southwest, and our house was on the same
property. It was so sandy, that nothing would grow except maybe a few sand
burrs. Out little "house beyond the house" was close by, and surrounded by
ankle deep sand. We also were blessed with an abundance of rattle snakes,
which tended to hang out in the outbuildings. We found quite a few that
didn't quite make it across the RR tracks that serviced the sand pit. My
younger brother, who was deathly afraid of snakes, had the experience of
entering the facility, shutting the door, only to find a hog nosed snake
behind the door. Having had this experience, he was always on the alert, and
very, very cautious.
One morning before school, I saw him enter the privy. After he shut the
door, I sneaked up behind, waited until he got settled and all was quiet,
and then I made a "snake hissing sound" as loudly as I could. He yelled at
the top of his voice: " AWWWWWWWWWW", I heard the door bang open and he came
running, best he could, in the ankle deep sand with his jeans down around
his ankles. Of course I laughed my butt off, but he wasn't amused. When he
turned around all red faced, he made some remark akin to "I'll get you for
that you SOB, if it's the last thing I do". I still think it was funny. He
never got over his fear of snakes, and dispatched quite a few in his
lifetime. He died a couple years ago and I really miss the little ****.
At his funeral, I met his boss and some of the folks he worked for (this
company recovered explosives from old ordinance). They told me that when he
went into the field, he always took his shootin' iron and shot every snake
he saw. His boss asked me why he was so afraid of snakes...
