Pretty funny farmer story

   / Pretty funny farmer story #1  

gator

Gold Member
Joined
Apr 9, 2001
Messages
476
Location
USA
Tractor
Kubota L4701 HST
Found this on a web site:
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Arizona. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U.S. and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own." The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in Arizona. We settle small disagreements like this with the Arizona Three Kick Rule."
The lawyer asked, "What is the Arizona Three Kick Rule?"
The Farmer replied, "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up."
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick nearly wiped the man's nose off his face. The barrister was flat on his belly when the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, "Okay, you old coot! Now, it's my turn!"
The old farmer grinned and said, "Naw, I give up. You can have the duck!"


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Wally <font color=green>JD 750 "GATOR"</font color=green>
 
   / Pretty funny farmer story #2  
Now... that was funny.../w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif/w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif

I love it!
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   / Pretty funny farmer story #3  
Next time I'm in Arizona, I'll be extra careful! Good one! /w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif

MarkC
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   / Pretty funny farmer story #4  
Re: Another farmer & lawyer...

A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, "May I help you?"

The farmer said, "Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorce's." The attorney said, "well do you have any grounds?" The farmer said, "Yea, I got about 140 acres." The attorney said, " No, you don't understand, do you have a case?" The farmer said, "No, I don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere." The attorney said, "No you don't understand, I mean do you have a grudge?" The farmer said, "Yea I got a grudge, that's where I park my John Deere." The attorney said, "No sir, I mean do you have a suit?" The farmer said, "Yes sir, I got a suit. I wear it to church on Sundays."

The exasperated attorney said, "Well sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?" The farmer said, "No sir, we both get up about 4:30." Finally, the attorney says, "Okay, let me put it this way. "WHY DO YOU WANT A DIVORCE?" And the farmer says, "Well, I can never have a meaningful conversation with her."

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   / Pretty funny farmer story
  • Thread Starter
#5  
Re: Another farmer & lawyer...

Good one John.
Farmers-2 lawyers-0

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Wally <font color=green>JD 750 "GATOR"</font color=green>
 
   / Pretty funny farmer story #6  
Re: Another farmer & lawyer...

A country gentleman (read lawyer) from Texas was visiting up in Maine one time, when he met an old farmer. The conversation went something like this:

Tex: Well, old timer, how big is your spread?

Farmer: Well now, let me see. You see them big rocks up on the hill there? Well, it starts there, then runs over to that big old oak tree, way up yonder. Then from there it runs over to the crik over there, right near the fishing hole. Then it comes down to the fence over there. Then back up to them big rocks again.

Tex: well well, I see. I tell you, down home my spread is ahhh....., it's ahhhh......., well if I get in my pick-up in the morning and drive all day, I still won't have reached the other side.

Farmer: Eeyup, know what you mean. Had me a pick-up like that once.

Keep the greasy side down.
Mike
 

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