memories of your grandparents

[ncnurseryman]

I don't post very often but do read a lot but regardless, I am interested in what y'all think makes for good grandparents. I didn't have much of a relationship with my grandparents and unfortunately my parents have not been too good with my son either. Seems they are always too "busy" and/or just never take any initiative. That's not how my wife and I plan to be when we become grandparents. So, just interested in what you liked or remember about your grandparents that made an impression on you.

 

[Fawken]

Here's the deal: Loved my grandparents (all 3). My paternal grampa died before I was born. My maternal grandparents lived a 1/2 block from the beach in Galveston. I was born there and spent most every summer with them up until age 16. I am a water person so I would have visited them even if they were a-holes (which they were not). Children will fall in love with their grandparents if they live in a cool place where kids can have fun.

 

[pohorsky]

I had an odd relationship with my grandparents, but one that turned out well. For reasons that are irrelevant, my parents did not want to to spend time with them, but ever since I was in 8th grade, I spend fair amount of time with my maternal grandfather (grandmother had already suffered two strokes, but he visited her multiple times per day). What I think endeared most of my cousins to him was passing on family traditions and visiting them, especially the ones that lived far away, as well as sharing stories with them. I bonded with my grandfather because I loved to work and he spent most of his time in the garden, and he saw that I had a knack for fixing things, which was unique to me.
What I, as a much younger man would recommend or would want is somebody who, respects and sees the individuality of all his grandchildren, nurtures their talents, shares his life and virtues with them, and especially shows the grandsons what it means to be a man, if not a gentleman.

 

[sseelhoff]

We visited my pateranl grandparents quite often, but it was kind of a drag. My grandmother was a sweet lady, and hugged us a lot. She spent most of the time in the kitchen preparing and then cleaing up. Never really spent much time with us. My grandfather would sit in his chair and watch football. Not much engagement.

My maternal grandparents were very different. They lived in Florida, so we saw them maybe 1-2 times per year. My grandfather took us out and did all kinds of cool things. When we were in Florida, he would take us to the beach, took me to the community center woodshop to build birdhouses. I remember him "teaching me how to drive" by sitting in his lap. I turned the wheel-he worked the pedals. I think I was about 6 or 7. He was a great man with a wicked sense of humor. Grandma was a retired teacher. She had the teacher personality, but was deep down a good person.

My advice based on my experience would be to engage with them in activities. Teach them/take them to do things you like to do-teach em' to fish, woodwork, ride the tractor, whatever it is that you enjoy. They will like it because it is probably something different, and it involves doing something with you.

 

[ncnurseryman]

I agree. Spending time doing anything with the grandparents is a good thing, especially when they can teach the kids some things.

 

[ncnurseryman]

I like to hunt, fish, spend time in the woods, especially in the winter. It would be fun to teach that again. I taught my son and had some fun in scouts for many years. Most kids are like sponges and love learning cool things.

 

[DuckSlayer1017]

Grandparents seem to have a lot more patience with the grand kids than parents do, which makes them special to the kids. I think it helps that they are usually retired and have more free time available. Projects can be set aside when the grand kids are around. My Mom and Dad do a great job with all of the grand kids. They make a point of spending one day a week at the grand kids house and take them to do the things that parents just don't seem to have the time to do.

 

[joe12185]

My grandfather died when I was only 7, but before he did he was the person who I always wanted to be with, he taught me how to run the lawn mower when I was in 2nd grade and I was able to mow my grandmother's lawn after he passed (the following May). Both of my parents worked full time and my sister and I were with our grandparents most of the time. I am so happy that I was able to have the time with my grandparents I did, and am trying to afford my children the same oppertunity. Tonight I say in my car with my oldest daughters 7 and a half and 4 and we listened to the local oldies channel and talked about what was happening the year that the songs were popular, It was a really awesome expierence for me.

 

[ncnurseryman]

Yeah, and that's the crux of it. They make a "point" of spending time with them.

 

[ncnurseryman]

Sounds really good Joe.