Gimme, gimme, GIMME

[JDgreen227]

I just visited my email home page and Facebook, and some people I know have sent out emails and posted on Facebook that they are asking for donations for their elderly father (and father in law) because he is having difficulty having ends meet. The man in question retired in 1992 with a generous pension and full medical care benefits, but he seriously neglected his health and let his finances go to (bleep) and filed for bankruptcy in 2008, plus let his health get so bad because he neglected his diabetes he has had both legs amputated and undergoes kidney dialysis every week. While I have to feel bad for him, I do think it very crass that his son and daughter-in-law are using their email contacts and Facebook friends to solict donations for this man. To do so during the Christmas holiday makes it even more crass, IMO. What are your opinions?

 

[TCJatko]

Hey, the old guy has Social Security and Medicare. What more could he possibly need?

 

[creekbend]

I know many people that are living on a limited income and are retired. They aren't asking for anything that they haven't earned. We are included in that list. Times get rough, but one must set their priorities and forget about extravagant expenditures.

 

[daugen]

If you know the person, and have some form of connection, and know the money is not going up the children's noses, I think it's like McDonald's asking if you want to donate a dollar to Ronald McDonald House.
Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. You should be able to set your own priorities without getting in to a guilt trip.
If someone is genuinely trying to help another and not just self benefit, well, I think we can give them some slack. But none of us can always say yes.

My understanding is that when someone retires with a "generous pension" normally it remains generous until they die, assuming they are set up on a monthly income payout. So there should be a continuing income stream to take care of necessities. Is the money being solicited to pay for debt?

did they say please?....

 

[hawkeye08]

Guess it depends on how well you know them and how deep your pockets are...

 

[daugen]

one must set their priorities and forget about extravagant expenditures. Like kidney dialysis every week ????

do or die. If he has a hundred dollar deductible or similar every time he goes, that could get to be a problem quickly. Or if he has to pay for transportation to appointments.

 

[sodamo]

I suppose responding with a call for donations to prepay his cremation would be crass.

Every year I get more and more annoyed this time of year with the increasingly blatant call for handouts.
Toys for Tots and others only take brand new stuff and money anymore, and stuff is refused if not good enough.
On one of our Adopt A Family pleas the other night, the asking mother was holding a newish smartphone, sure, the phone itself might not have cost so much, but hat monthly bill would buy a lot of food, presents, etc.

Just the other day, after watching one of the pleading newscasts, I asked my wife if growing up,she ever got as nice of stuff for presents as they were showing, I sure didn't.

Guess I've become jaded my later years, but before I just giveaway I take a look and if I see wasteful decision making, I just prefer to waste myself.

Basically, I'm more than willing to help someone in need, but I won't be an enabler for someone who has developed need into their lifestyle.

David Sent from my iPad using TractorByNet

 

[daugen]

I suppose responding with a call for donations to prepay his cremation would be crass.

Every year I get more and more annoyed this time of year with the increasingly blatant call for handouts.
Toys for Tots and others only take brand new stuff and money anymore, and stuff is refused if not good enough.
On one of our Adopt A Family pleas the other night, the asking mother was holding a newish smartphone, sure, the phone itself might not have cost so much, but hat monthly bill would buy a lot of food, presents, etc.

Just the other day, after watching one of the pleading newscasts, I asked my wife if growing up,she ever got as nice of stuff for presents as they were showing, I sure didn't.

Guess I've become jaded my later years, but before I just giveaway I take a look and if I see wasteful decision making, I just prefer to waste myself.

Basically, I'm more than willing to help someone in need, but I won't be an enabler for someone who has developed need into their lifestyle.

David Sent from my iPad using TractorByNet

nicely said, thanks. For a number of years I delivered food baskets to local residents at holidays, those in need.
While the roads are littered with Range Rovers and BMW's, there are lots of those living quiet lives on inadequate income streams,
who just can't get by. Most of the folk I delivered food to were one parent households with kids. I think the need would be less if divorced spouses, if they
can, would live up to their child support obligations. To see the looks of the moms who now knew they could cook a nice ham for Christmas, or a turkey for Thanksgiving for their kids,
well those looks make it all worthwhile. This is face to face; I can see where they live, how they live, will the teenage son even help me lug in the bag of potatoes. Only had one family so far
that when the front door opened it looked like a furniture showroom. Many of these families still had a lot of moving boxes being used for tables. And some looked downright panicked by where they had wound
up, because it sure wasn't where they had been. After I delivered to about eight families, I went home and felt pretty fortunate.

The scammers and ripoff artists are getting smarter all the time. It's hard to trust people as we used to.

 

[Cat_Driver]

Just have everyone go on FOOD STAMPS then they can order Lobster & Steaks like this person did with YOUR MONEY

 

[ljohnson778]

I don't know folks... Maybe I'm soft. Maybe it's the time of year. I've made poor decisions in my life, plenty of 'em. Thankfully, friends and family didn't lecture me on how I made my own bed, etc. They showed me compassion, and helped me out. I have a great job now, and have more than enough to provide for my needs. I find it very rewarding to pay it forward, rather than being judgmental. Remember, "There, but for the grace of God, go I..."

I wish the retired gentleman referenced by the OP well, and would help if I knew who he was. Regarding the food stamp purchase, I simply can't judge, because I don't know any of the circumstances surrounding it. Was it an ailing family member's request? I'm ok with that. Was it a parent's attempt to help their family live a little and feel like "normal" people and splurge a bit? I'm ok with that.

Merry Christmas everyone.

 

[JDgreen227]

OP here, I know the retired gentleman quite well, and simply created the thread because I thought it very crass to solict a donation this time of the year. I am retired with a small pension and have to draw on my savings because I am not old enough for SS yet, and here is something else to ponder: I recently had to refinance my paid-for homestead because of a greedy ex-spouse, have a $4,000 attorney bill to pay, have a $310 utility bill due soon, plus a $2200 winter tax bill coming due in February. Now, did I email my numerous contacts or post on Facebook I was in serious need of funds and hope they had some extra cash to tide me over? NO, I DID NOT !!!!! Even in my severe financial situation, I will STILL donate money to the needy this holiday season, and perhaps there is something wrong with me, but to me those who DO NOT bring attention to their neediness are the ones more deserving of assistance.

 

[ljohnson778]

OP here, I know the retired gentleman quite well, and simply created the thread because I thought it very crass to solict a donation this time of the year. I am retired with a small pension and have to draw on my savings because I am not old enough for SS yet, and here is something else to ponder: I recently had to refinance my paid-for homestead because of a greedy ex-spouse, have a $4,000 attorney bill to pay, have a $310 utility bill due soon, plus a $2200 winter tax bill coming due in February. Now, did I email my numerous contacts or post on Facebook I was in serious need of funds and hope they had some extra cash to tide me over? NO, I DID NOT !!!!! Even in my severe financial situation, I will STILL donate money to the needy this holiday season, and perhaps there is something wrong with me, but to me those who DO NOT bring attention to their neediness are the ones more deserving of assistance.

I don't disagree that it was in poor taste for the retired gentleman's relatives to behave as they did, just saying that he is a fellow human being in a bad situation. I'm sorry for your difficulties, been there. Don't let your ex make you bitter, use the experience to make you better.

 

[Deere Dude]

It seems to be the way the country is headed. No shame anymore especially when it comes to being put on welfare, getting handouts, going to food kitchens, using food stamps, etc. I totally understand there are people who find themselves in desperate need and they should be helped. From everything I have been reading and hearing, a majority of the people on these programs either brought it upon themselves by not working when they should or can work but on a program is much easier. The next guy will foot the bill for me.

A couple days ago a friend told of a sheriff in a sheriff's dept. involved in taking toys and whatever else to help families in need over the Christmas season. He said many times he would pull in front of the house and there was a big SUV or a pretty new car parked there and then when inside there is a huge big screen TV. That is common and people aren't to proud to not scam the system. Of course the government is making it way to easy to take advantage of it.

It has to take away the political correctness and make a work for welfare society. If you want welfare, you better work or show why you cannot. Of course that is just my opinion.

 

[dave1949]

It does seem odd for people to solicit donations via emails and Facebook.

I imagine for many who are poor, I mean actually poor, it would be possible to point to something in their lives that made or keeps them poor. A bad decision about a job, failing to care for their health, or just failure to manage what they have earned.

We have a number of poor people around here who are more or less stranded by age and job skills. They may have worked for a paper mill, in the woods, or a shoe factory, but many of those things have gone away. They are often over 60 years old, aren't going to work again, there are very few jobs here, and they couldn't move away if they wanted to--there is nothing to move to that is an improvement for these people. Since their working careers were up and down and cut off early, they don't have retirement savings. They are living on social security, help from the food pantry and medicaid.

 

[powerpace]

I have two "friends" on Facebook that are asking for somekind of help every week. The last big one was asking for help to save her home. She has three large Husky dogs that eat enough for 8 people. Can't keep a job. Who knows why. The other has a disabled boyfriend that is "bedridden" but can still ride his Harley. She gets paid by the government to take care of him plus she is a caregiver for others full time. She asks for someone to help roof her house, do some plumbing/electrical work. I have known this person for eleven years, it never changes. Last summer she was going to sell her pair of Quads but wanted to wait till the riding season was over on the beach. Said she desperatly needed the money. But not till she was finished with them.

 

[TCJatko]

I have two "friends" on Facebook that are asking for somekind of help every week. The last big one was asking for help to save her home. She has three large Husky dogs that eat enough for 8 people. Can't keep a job. Who knows why. The other has a disabled boyfriend that is "bedridden" but can still ride his Harley. She gets paid by the government to take care of him plus she is a caregiver for others full time. She asks for someone to help roof her house, do some plumbing/electrical work. I have known this person for eleven years, it never changes. Last summer she was going to sell her pair of Quads but wanted to wait till the riding season was over on the beach. Said she desperatly needed the money. But not till she was finished with them.

Exactly. I have no problems helping the truly needy, but way too many folks treat the welfare system as a lifstyle.

 

[Pops15]

Yes, it's in poor taste to solicit donations.
The events that lead to this situation can't be undone. The family needs to find a real solution. Maybe it's time for this man to move into a nursing home. The state will foot the bill. Of course they'll sell the house to recoup some of the money. They'll attach most of his pension as well.
If he has any equity in his house he could get a reverse mortgage. Many churches have an outreach program that will help elderly people in many ways.
My guess is the kids want to protect his assets (their inheritance) and that's why they're soliciting donations rather than trying to find a real solution to the problem.

 

[JDgreen227]

Yes, it's in poor taste to solicit donations.
The events that lead to this situation can't be undone. The family needs to find a real solution. Maybe it's time for this man to move into a nursing home. The state will foot the bill. Of course they'll sell the house to recoup some of the money. They'll attach most of his pension as well.
If he has any equity in his house he could get a reverse mortgage. Many churches have an outreach program that will help elderly people in many ways.
My guess is the kids want to protect his assets (their inheritance) and that's why they're soliciting donations rather than trying to find a real solution to the problem.

Well stated on your part...what baffles me is why said fellow cannot manage his money...both he and his spouse collect a pension and Social Security (about $5500 per month combined) and he gets Medicare.

 

[Gator6x4]

In all likelihood the kids bled him dry and now want someone else to continue supporting them in the lifestyle they think they deserve. If he is exceeding the $66,000.00 dollar annual pension he is currently receiving, something is wrong. Call me hard hearted, cruel or whatever but I would be de-friending someone and not making any contributions. Way to many seniors I think it is 49% are living at or near the poverty level for me to be making cash gifts to someone receiving $66,000.00 annually. I have found the Salvation Army does a good job of sorting out "Free Loaders" but they also occasionally get scammed. It is shocking the number of individuals involved in such scams at Christmas.

 

[CBW1999]

SCAM>>>SCAM>>>>>SCAM>>>>>SCAM

this seems to be a new ploy used by people on facebook and craigslist.

I am not denying the possibility or legitimate aspect of the man's situation, it is the intentions of those asking for the donation that come into play. I have seen some really suspicious ones in the last few months where someone has set up a donation account for someone in an "accident" not too long after it aired on the news.

If a person is that bad off financially- especially with end stage renal disease, they have a lot of assistance available. including transportation to and from treatment. Treatment isn't denied if they can't meet out of pocket co pays or the like, the bill just gets bigger. So they can't argue an imminent need for cash to meet this.

In general, I get annoyed at how quickly now a days "fundraisers" are organized for "tragedies" even to the extent that the "victim" prompts someone to organize it. Often- "they didn't have insurance" issue comes up. I always ask "why"? Sorry.........kinda got on the soap box-