Divorcing and then laid off

[wjoerob]

Brother-in-law's been married 20 yrs., has a daughter age 16. Wife tells him she wants a divorce. Goes to counseling, makes no difference. She is being influenced by a circle of friends also divorcing or already divorced. He's doing everything she asks, but she tells him, "It doesn't matter, you can never be the man I want you to be." Goes back and forth, still living together, sometimes she's cold to him, sometimes she's all hugs and kisses. He's already going to AA because she insisted. The rest of us didn't think he really had a drinking problem.
So last Friday he's told he's laid off for at least 2 months, maybe longer. The final divorce hearing is Nov. 1, so it all comes at once. We're praying like crazy for him, helping where we can. This is a good-hearted man, but he's wondering what else can happen next. Divorce is always selfish, you know? It always hurts everyone around.

 

[Nissan197]

Marriage is tuff and it takes two to make things work. Keep an eye on him. That is a lot of stress for someone to go through. I had contact with a young man the other night while working. He is a business owner and the business is not doing that great, his mother has cancer and he found out she has less than two months to live. To add to that his girlfriend of five years breaks up with him. I told him to spend time with his mother and to forget about the girlfriend. Thousands of other fish in the sea. Life is too short to worry about someone who doesn't care about you IMHO.

 

[dex3361]

I will say a prayer for him.

 

[Thomas]

I'll keep my fingers cross for him.

 

[Scooby074]

I feel bad for him. Thankfully his daughter is old enough to sort of understand whats happening.

Things will likely work out better in the end. Lots of fish in the see and all that... Not my place to say, but i wouldnt be surprised if she already has someone else (ie: Never be the man want you to be" screams that to me) .The back and forth, going to AA, trying to "change for HER" is harder on a guy than than a clean break.

Tell him to keep his chin up. Take him out for a beer or something to get him out of the house. They got a Hooters there?

 

[ToadHill]

My oldest son had the same thing happen, wife said we need a seperation so he moves out. He goes to counseling for a while and the counselor tells him he's "ok" wife is still going.

She announces last February that she wants a divorce, so he gets the paperwork started, and they are now well on their way.

My concern is for the 2 children, ages 11 and 8. My wife and I are doing all we can to help the grandchildren in any way. At least they have joint custody and so far the kids seem to be handling it "OK".

The old saying is: A woman marries a man and knows she will be able to change him, the man marries the woman because she will never change. They are both wrong.

 

[scott_vt]

Good Mornin Joe,
Our prayers to your brother-in-law and your family !

 

[drgill]

I believe that when there are children involved all parties should do everything possible to stay together. To do anything less is selfish. Once the kids turn 18, well that is a different matter. I would be betting that the wife has someone lined up. Best of luck to him.

Dennis

 

[Double Orange]

Sorry to hear this. When kids are envolved it gets even worse.

I hope for the Best!

I agreed and went to court becuase my wife had me convinced it would be a 50/50 split.


She was right!

She got half and her lawyer got the other half!!!!

 

[studor]

Double O -- there is a reason divorces are so expensive -- cause they are worth it