D Magazine - Redemption

8NTX · Aug 18, 2004

The pic of an old guy with a grey beard and red t-shirt, standing next to "the gate" caught my eye first. Hope he doesn't mind.....Just got the September issue of D Magazine, "the magazine of Dallas". A high quality local publication about Dallas and surrounding areas. A "philosopher who lives in Wylie" is the author of this month's column. He happens to be one of our more notable members. The article is about one of his heroes. I'll let him explain further.......Harv?

wroughtn_harv · Aug 18, 2004

One of my most favoritest heroes is my daughter.

One of the things that bonds people together is overcoming obstacles as a team. We did that. I did the talkin'. She did the doing.

So everytime I see a baby girl or grandgirl come into TBN land there's a part of me that wishes the father the same kind of closeness with his daughter that I have with mine.

She's taught me so much. And I love her dearly.

Nine years ago at seventeen she had a beautiful baby girl. It was adopted out. The story is about that and some things that's happened since.

It's an emotional story. But then all stories about parents and children usually are.

MicroPilot · Aug 19, 2004

Is there an online version of this mag? If not, is there anyway to get permission to post it here? I would love to read the article.

8NTX · Aug 19, 2004

( Is there an online version of this mag? If not, is there anyway to get permission to post it here? I would love to read the article. )

Yes, but the on-line version runs a little behind, probably to encourage sales of the magazine. So right now, they have only the August edition up. Don't know when they will switch to the September edition. But you can check it out:

http://www.dmagazine.com

BillG_in_TX · Aug 20, 2004

Harv,

I'll be looking for your column. In the meantime, I checked out a couple of the articles from the August issue. That Brad Goldberg sounds like he could be your "soul" brother. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif And I can't wait to hear "the rest of the story" about the death of Herb Vest's father. /forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif

I probably should subscribe to this magazine.

wroughtn_harv · Aug 21, 2004

It looks like the online version won't be out until around the twenty sixth according to one of the editors. Seems like there's a week's span in their delivery to subscribers and different vendors. Locally our supermarkets have it already by the checkouts. But some vendors won't have the new issue until sometime next week.

jpr62902 · Aug 24, 2004

Almost shed a tear over that one. You should be very proud, Mr. Lacey -- the world needs many more like you and your daughter.

dmccarty · Aug 24, 2004

Dang it Harv,

I DID shed a tear!

/forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

I'm glad you shared the story. I was very curious about the article.

I am more glad that everything turned out right in the end. It is sooooo hard to have things happen to your children...

Thanks,
Dan

hazmat · Aug 24, 2004

I DID shed a tear! 

Me too. Thanks for sharing.

MicroPilot · Aug 24, 2004

Awsome article.

fishman · Aug 24, 2004

Excellent story WHarv. Nobody knows what they'd do in a situation until they're put in it.

FYI, Cindi posts regularly at countrybynet.com in the homesteading forum. Maybe you should post this link over there?

Richard · Aug 24, 2004

made me water up too. Very touching story.

I'd love to hit the fast forward button and see the reunion. Somehow I see a made for tv ending here...perhaps a Waltons moment.

/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif

wroughtn_harv · Aug 25, 2004

( I'd love to hit the fast forward button and see the reunion. Somehow I see a made for tv ending here...perhaps a Waltons moment.)

I have no doubt it'll happen. We were only with the adoptive parents a couple of times. But I'd bet they're the kind that will explain things to their daughter in such a way that she'll be accepting and appreciative of her birth mother.

My philosophy on living a life successfully is when the big picture is overwhelming we concentrate on the details. And at those times when the details are overwhelming we need to step back and look at the big picture.

This situation more than just about any other has had me going back and forth between the big picture and being in the middle of the photograph.

The big picture involves a little girl wondering about herself and where she belongs and reading the story. And developing the position that she was given her opportunity because she was so loved, not because she was unloved.

The parents of an adopted child reading the story and accepting that they shouldn't feel guilty for having such a treasure. The birth mother is doing fine and knowing that the same kind of inate character to be such a strong human being flows in their adopted child's veins.

But probably the most important person I'd like to read the story would be the young lady stuck in a position where she needs to decide what to do. No matter what she does she's going to have to live with it for the rest of her life and it will make a difference. Maybe seeing that she can hold her head up high, have the baby, and still have a productive and happy life after giving the baby up to someone who's willing and capable of what she isn't at the moment.

So if any one of these things happens I'll feel good about my daughter making the best of a rough situation.

I raised her pro choice. She chose life. She had the wisdom of Solomon after the frailty of character of David. The most rare of combinations in a human being.

bcarter · Aug 25, 2004

> My philosophy on living a life successfully is when the big picture is overwhelming we concentrate on the details. And at those times when the details are overwhelming we need to step back and look at the big picture. 

This has to be the simplest yet most effective philosophy on life that I've ever heard...

I'm not big on copying other people, but that is such a great way to look at life...mind if I adopt it? /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif (Seriously, I'll give you the appropriate credit and everything...) If my son turns out half as well as your daughter did I'd be mighty happy (and proud!).

wroughtn_harv · Aug 25, 2004

I can't claim authorship of that one. I'm sure I read it somewhere when I was a child and while a young man it came to the surface when needed. I've found that true of all my good ideas and more than one of my not so good ones. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

The best thing about me read your post and just smiled like a Chelsire cat.

She's heard those sympathies many times. /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif

Junkman · Aug 25, 2004

Harv..... I must admit that your story touched me very much and it did bring tears to my eyes. I printed the article and gave it to my wife to read. It is now making the circulation around work. I am certain that it will have an impact on some family in the future in how to deal with the same situation. Thanks for taking the time to share.... Junk..

wroughtn_harv · Aug 26, 2004

( I am certain that it will have an impact on some family in the future in how to deal with the same situation.)

I hope you're right Junkman. Thanks for the vote of confidence.

I wouldn't wish such a situation on anyone. But the only thing worse than that would be to have it happen and then handle it wrong for those involved. For us, it was the right thing to do. But that was for us, at that point in time.

EastTexFrank · Aug 26, 2004

phewwwwww!!!! Nearly choked on the lump in my throat.

wroughtn_harv · Dec 24, 2004

Sometimes what goes around comes around when you least expect it.

Tuesday evening this week my cell went off as we sitting down for supper. I didn't recognise the area code but since the shop phone is forwarded to the cell I answered. Mostly for the opportunity to give a piece of my mind to a solicitor.

"Is this the Harvey Lacey who wrote the article in the Dallas magazine?" a woman's voice asked.

I said it was me.

"Is this your mailing address?" she asked.

It wasn't so I gave her my correct mailing address.

She hung up without saying anything else.

Today I got the most wonderful letter. It seems the reason she was so brief was she was in quite an emotional state at the moment. She's a realtor in a distant state and happened to pick up the magazine off of a table to read while a home was being showed. She read the story.

She was adopted thirty-nine years ago from a situation very similar to our own. At eighteen she met her real grandparents and had a very close relationship until their deaths.

Hers was a letter of thanks.

She's had a wondeful life and wouldn't change a thing.

She wrote it to thank our family. But I strongly suspect it was to the family thirty-nine years ago who faced the hardest of decisions and did the right thing, for her.

This is probably the best Christmas present I could've gotten this year.

Thanks for allowing me to share it with all my buds out there in TBN land.