Why is it so hard to help out someone in need and how did we get to this point???

/ Why is it so hard to help out someone in need and how did we get to this point??? #1  

ultrarunner

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I know a few elderly that are struggling and thought with winter and the high utility cost that I would put a $100 on each of their accounts and call it a good deed for Christmas.

I was at the Pacific Gas and Electric window and my payments were refused... even spoke to a manager who said it would be a violation of privacy to allow me to pay a bill not my own...

All I can think is what kind of world have we become?

I paid my bill and then said I would like to put $100 on Mrs. Ann Jensen at XXXX Main Street Oakland CA...

It is just not Utilities but also Doctor visits and Hospitals which I am a part... ever since the confidentiality laws went into effect we spend a lot of time saying NO...

A typical call will go like this... My Mom, Mrs. Smith, is scheduled for knee surgery with Dr. Green tomorrow and I would like to confirm the time she needs to be there as I am providing transportation... we are not allowed to give a time or confirm schedule due to HIPA as the caller could be anyone... the best we can do is call the telephone number we have on the chart and ask for the patient by name... what a rigamarole...

Lots of irate people with added stress at a time with pending surgery... and we get an earful too... but we do not make the rules.

Might as well go for one more...

I manage rentals and the Utility has a program where it will turn off the pilot light in the summer... one of my tenants had the furnace pilot turned off by the utility and the home failed the city annual inspection due to non function heater...

I as property owner received the violation notice... so I called the Utility and asked why they would turn off the pilot in my home as I am the property owner... I was told my name isn't on the account so they cannot discuss anything with me...

I said... OK... I can play this game... I would like service in my name and the pilot lit immediately as the city failed my home as a habitability violation and will fax the violation from the city... then, as soon as the pilot is lit I will call in to end service...

I'm a nice guy but this nonsense drives me crazy...

End of rant...
 
/ Why is it so hard to help out someone in need and how did we get to this point??? #2  
I would just buy them a big ol box of food. If my hometown ever gets that petty, I will take out full page ads and let 'm have it! Kindness should never be stifled.
 
/ Why is it so hard to help out someone in need and how did we get to this point???
  • Thread Starter
#3  
That would work... I do grocery shopping for two once a week on Sunday afternoon...
 
/ Why is it so hard to help out someone in need and how did we get to this point??? #4  
That would work... I do grocery shopping for two once a week on Sunday afternoon...

Food is always a good choice. Sometimes, kind words and a visit means more to some of the lonely folks. It is easy to feel forgotten. God Bless!
 
/ Why is it so hard to help out someone in need and how did we get to this point??? #5  
I know a few elderly that are struggling and thought with winter and the high utility cost that I would put a $100 on each of their accounts and call it a good deed for Christmas.

I was at the Pacific Gas and Electric window and my payments were refused... even spoke to a manager who said it would be a violation of privacy to allow me to pay a bill not my own...

All I can think is what kind of world have we become?

I paid my bill and then said I would like to put $100 on Mrs. Ann Jensen at XXXX Main Street Oakland CA...

It is just not Utilities but also Doctor visits and Hospitals which I am a part... ever since the confidentiality laws went into effect we spend a lot of time saying NO...

A typical call will go like this... My Mom, Mrs. Smith, is scheduled for knee surgery with Dr. Green tomorrow and I would like to confirm the time she needs to be there as I am providing transportation... we are not allowed to give a time or confirm schedule due to HIPA as the caller could be anyone... the best we can do is call the telephone number we have on the chart and ask for the patient by name... what a rigamarole...

Lots of irate people with added stress at a time with pending surgery... and we get an earful too... but we do not make the rules.

Might as well go for one more...

I manage rentals and the Utility has a program where it will turn off the pilot light in the summer... one of my tenants had the furnace pilot turned off by the utility and the home failed the city annual inspection due to non function heater...

I as property owner received the violation notice... so I called the Utility and asked why they would turn off the pilot in my home as I am the property owner... I was told my name isn't on the account so they cannot discuss anything with me...

I said... OK... I can play this game... I would like service in my name and the pilot lit immediately as the city failed my home as a habitability violation and will fax the violation from the city... then, as soon as the pilot is lit I will call in to end service...

I'm a nice guy but this nonsense drives me crazy...

End of rant...

I take a bit different Christmas approach.
I go to the local Kmart.
I ask to speak with the manager, and explain that I would like to pay off two or three separate lay away balances.
Kmart will let me pay the balances off, except for the last penny.
They do not let me see the accounts, but I explain that the account must be holding at least one bicycle.
I do this on Dec. 23rd, to pay off only accounts that might go into default.
 
/ Why is it so hard to help out someone in need and how did we get to this point??? #6  
I take a bit different Christmas approach.
I go to the local Kmart.
I ask to speak with the manager, and explain that I would like to pay off two or three separate lay away balances.
Kmart will let me pay the balances off, except for the last penny.
They do not let me see the accounts, but I explain that the account must be holding at least one bicycle.
I do this on Dec. 23rd, to pay off only accounts that might go into default.

Excellent idea.
 
/ Why is it so hard to help out someone in need and how did we get to this point???
  • Thread Starter
#7  
You are kind and generous... maybe the title of this thread needs to be changed?

There are lots of little things we do to help out and some are really simple... like making sure those around us have our phone numbers... for years I was the neighborhood light bulb changer... something about a 90 year old standing on a step stool never set right with me...

I'm blessed with a lot of seasoned neighbors... never have to worry when I am away.. they don't miss a thing as to coming and goings on my street... and I like it.
 
/ Why is it so hard to help out someone in need and how did we get to this point??? #8  
You are kind and generous... maybe the title of this thread needs to be changed?

There are lots of little things we do to help out and some are really simple... like making sure those around us have our phone numbers... for years I was the neighborhood light bulb changer... something about a 90 year old standing on a step stool never set right with me...

I'm blessed with a lot of seasoned neighbors... never have to worry when I am away.. they don't miss a thing as to coming and goings on my street... and I like it.

Sounds like a nice neighborhood with caring people. I would do all that I could for those in need. I enjoy "well seasoned" neighbors also.
 
/ Why is it so hard to help out someone in need and how did we get to this point??? #9  
Go and volunteer at your local food bank like I do. My church operates one, I am a committee member, help issue food every Sat morning for 4 hours and donate money and food products on a routine basis. Very rewarding helping all those folks that are down; we have had some very rewarding results. It is all volunteer; no labor cost, every thing goes into the program.

There are many small charities out there begging for help. I stay with those faith based as most are all volunteer. I do not believe in someone getting paid to help those in dire need.

Ron


Ron
 
/ Why is it so hard to help out someone in need and how did we get to this point??? #10  
Go and volunteer at your local food bank like I do. My church operates one, I am a committee member, help issue food every Sat morning for 4 hours and donate money and food products on a routine basis. Very rewarding helping all those folks that are down; we have had some very rewarding results. It is all volunteer; no labor cost, every thing goes into the program.

There are many small charities out there begging for help. I stay with those faith based as most are all volunteer. I do not believe in someone getting paid to help those in dire need.

Ron


Ron
Working at my local food bank was terrible. I was not prepared for the ungrateful people who wanted brand name food not generic. Now volunteer at local school
 
/ Why is it so hard to help out someone in need and how did we get to this point??? #11  
The very reason I plow my disabled neighbours and don't accept money in December (I never ask them for money at other times of the year, either.)
I just got another one added to my list, his mother just went into hospital and is not expected to come home and he himself is battling cancer. I will just go and clean him out and say nothing. If he offers, I might take $20.oo off him, then again I might not.
Disability (ODSP) from what I understand is about $1500.oo/month here for a single person $2000.oo for a couple and out of that they get to pay taxes or rent, utilities, food, vehicle repairs, insurance on same, license plates and still have some left over for pressies for the little ones who don't understand that Gramma and Grandpa might be broke.

I believe this is the neighbourly thing to do.
 
/ Why is it so hard to help out someone in need and how did we get to this point??? #12  
A friend & I were discussing the bell ringers standing with the red pot outside the grocery store. Y'know, I'd bet there are folks who never hear 'Merry Christmas' from anyone else. I have been concerned about whether the bell ringers ever pinched a bit of what's collected. Lately, I'm ashamed to have been so hesitant.

Just imagine that you are one of those people, perhaps having next to nothing and braving the weather to help others who might be in the same shape. I've decided that I wouldn't ever let such a petty reservation keep me from dropping bills into the SA pot. If those of us who 'have' are caught up in our own wishes, we're not living up to our best intentions.

btw, my trademark is wearing a sweater with holes in it, thus no one expects anything from me. IMO, being 'Secret Santa' is all about the secret, and keeping it, playing to a quirk of mine to 'keep 'em guessing'. It also keeps me from getting a rep for being loose with $$. :laughing:

A favorite thing about 'Christmas' is that the word works all year long when you do something for someone. "It's your Christmas present" .. :) Never mind that you don't know the person's full name or believe a promise to pay you back. Another favorite thing is that no one ever knows when cash changes hand w/o paperwork. I trust/ask folks to keep my help a secret, just like I take their ribbing about my 'image'. This also keep my conservative friends from even slightly knowing my financial status.

In our greater community I've had a particular fondness for 'Old Newsboys', tho' since retiring I'm not visited by a volunteer who'll sign me up at work. The folks in nearby Flint have had their City go bankrupt, lost an industrial tax base when the auto plants shrank to near nothing, have had countless homes foreclosed on, and their water tainted by poor engineering/analysis during a switch of municipal water source.

We never know whether our best intentions are fulfilled when we donate. IMO, the best way to NOT worry about the efficiency of dollars donated is to make sure they go to kids, where a child's grateful smile in the cold of Winter has no price. Got "heroes"? I do:
Christmas Box Program | Old Newsboys of Flint There will be other ways, but we shouldn't have to fight our way to being compassionate. ;) t o g
 
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/ Why is it so hard to help out someone in need and how did we get to this point??? #13  
I heard a story a couple days ago of a local lottery winner. He received a large payout and had only a few relatives. His way to give back to the area was to go to wally world and pay off the lay away plans of $40,000 in each of the local wallys. There is 6 within 30 miles.
 
/ Why is it so hard to help out someone in need and how did we get to this point??? #14  
The only way to possibly move forward on what you are describing ur is if you knew their utility account #. If you walk in with their name and street address (easy for anybody to get), then the issue they'd have with generating a payment receipt is that they are divulging critical information. Kind of takes out the option of playing Santa anonymously though....

When privatization went through, people were going around here door-door trying to see if they could get people signed up for utility options. Those account #'s are valuable..... let's say a sales guy gets $25 for signing up accounts - put down a $5 payment on an account, and you've made a 400% markup on that $5.

^Simple example of why the privacy laws came in..... IMO they aren't really that effective (macro-level), and do obstruct well-intentioned people like ur.

Nice thought ur. You do take direct action with helping your elderly neighbours; obviously they value that highly. Even the ones who are well-off financially are faced with the problem of finding somebody trustworthy to do anything for them.

When the costs of necessities like utilities get yanked up, vulnerable people get hit hard. Intended or otherwise, one of the benefits to the utilities of privacy legislation is that negative impact is easier to hide.

Rgds, D.
 
/ Why is it so hard to help out someone in need and how did we get to this point???
  • Thread Starter
#15  
Working at my local food bank was terrible. I was not prepared for the ungrateful people who wanted brand name food not generic. Now volunteer at local school

My High School teacher was a regular at Saint Anthony's Food Bank in SF... always volunteered.

One Monday he came to school black and blue, bandaged and stitches...

He was serving dinner and one of the guest wanted a bigger portion... teach said there is always seconds and the guy belted him across the face with the food tray... broke his nose and eye swollen shut...

It was a real wake up call to impressionable students... to teaches credit he did go back and I saw him recently... still goes the first Sunday of every month to help... he is 80 now.
 
/ Why is it so hard to help out someone in need and how did we get to this point??? #17  
Folks at church ask me why I get a statement for all my donations. I respond that way when I file Schedule A on taxes I have 30%more money to donate. Our Financial Secretary keeps my donation private (as well as all others per our By-laws); Even the Pastor does not get that information. For the food bank I give commodities rather than cash, that way I know it is getting to the people in need. I strive hard to be anonymous in all my giving to maintain my economic privacy and prevent the image of bragging.

Ron
 
/ Why is it so hard to help out someone in need and how did we get to this point??? #18  
I know a few elderly that are struggling and thought with winter and the high utility cost that I would put a $100 on each of their accounts and call it a good deed for Christmas.

I was at the Pacific Gas and Electric window and my payments were refused... even spoke to a manager who said it would be a violation of privacy to allow me to pay a bill not my own...

All I can think is what kind of world have we become?

I paid my bill and then said I would like to put $100 on Mrs. Ann Jensen at XXXX Main Street Oakland CA...

It is just not Utilities but also Doctor visits and Hospitals which I am a part... ever since the confidentiality laws went into effect we spend a lot of time saying NO...

A typical call will go like this... My Mom, Mrs. Smith, is scheduled for knee surgery with Dr. Green tomorrow and I would like to confirm the time she needs to be there as I am providing transportation... we are not allowed to give a time or confirm schedule due to HIPA as the caller could be anyone... the best we can do is call the telephone number we have on the chart and ask for the patient by name... what a rigamarole...

Lots of irate people with added stress at a time with pending surgery... and we get an earful too... but we do not make the rules.

Might as well go for one more...

I manage rentals and the Utility has a program where it will turn off the pilot light in the summer... one of my tenants had the furnace pilot turned off by the utility and the home failed the city annual inspection due to non function heater...

I as property owner received the violation notice... so I called the Utility and asked why they would turn off the pilot in my home as I am the property owner... I was told my name isn't on the account so they cannot discuss anything with me...

I said... OK... I can play this game... I would like service in my name and the pilot lit immediately as the city failed my home as a habitability violation and will fax the violation from the city... then, as soon as the pilot is lit I will call in to end service...

I'm a nice guy but this nonsense drives me crazy...

End of rant...

Guess you can say lots of government in our lives with all the rules and regs. But then again there are evil people in the world and will take advantage of your information and ruin your life. It's a hard world to be a decent person in any more.

It a nice thing to help folks and I have lots of time but found out its best to pay the bill and not hand the money over to them. Found that out myself. Daughter in law and son said they didn't have money to buy the little ones cloths for school so I gave them 300 and not a penny went for kids cloths. Won't say what it went for cause it would probably piss every one off. There are more and if I kept typing them I would get mad all over again.
 
/ Why is it so hard to help out someone in need and how did we get to this point??? #19  
There are lots of churches around here and anyone who needs help only has to ask at a church. However, the churches do verify their needs and communicate with other churches about helping unfortunate ones. If someone is truly in need, the churches are very generous, so all my giving is thru the church. I try to help out others physically or with something they might seem to need (such as a pair of welder's gloves with gauntlets for those that prune their rose bushes) - but just little things so they don't feel like they owe a return favor. I also try to downplay my financial situation and make sure that my donations are anonymous as well.
 
/ Why is it so hard to help out someone in need and how did we get to this point??? #20  
The charities here hand out pre paid debit cards from certain supermarkets and they cannot be used for the purchase of alcohol or tobacco, the recipients also go on a database and can only receive two a year, very commendable but unfortunately there are those that work all the charities on a weekly basis then move to the next town and when they need alcohol or tobacco they simply offer the card for sale at half the face value.
The database is only internal so they don't talk to each other, it is a pity that so many have to suffer because of the greed of others and an efficient database is too costly to maintain.
On a lighter note, I worked as a prison psych for about 20 years and as winter approached the derelicts would commit some heinous offence such as indecent exposure in front of a new rookie cop and get themselves locked up for 6 months, 3 meals a day, medical, warm bed and out in time for some warm weather and a bit of cash to buy some grog, you could set your calendar by it.
 

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