It's impossible, as you say, to prove or disprove such claims, but, unfortunately, your claim falls into the same category. I can tell you of my experience. In all the VW diesels my father and I have owned (except my current '96), none of them have less than 250k miles and several more than 300k, one over 400k, none of them ever retired due to engine failure, none of them ever even had any engine maintenance other than routine timing belt replacement, none of them have ever had the heads retorqued, not even once, none of them ever had the valves adjusted (though the early models 'required' it as routine maintenance), none of them even had the oil changed more often than once a year. I don't think this would qualify as 'better care' or more frequent maintenance in anyone's book.
I don't think the synthetic has anything to do with the head gasket directly, personally. It's the increased heat handling capability that does it, I think. At any rate, it clearly is the oil and not the maintenance.
The fact of the matter is, in my opinion, that most people who refuse to look at the fairly obvious evidence of synthetic's superiority in the form of their specs, will also dismiss the controlled tests you speak of, as well. I don't know why, it's just the way it is. I hope never to be so closed-minded myself. (My prejudice against GM products excluded, of course.)