grocery store ...laughs....

[brin]

My trip to the grocery grocery store
There was a bit of confusion at the store this morning. When I was ready to pay for my groceries, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."
Making a mental note to complain to my congressman about Homeland Security running amok, I did just as she had instructed.
When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to my credit card.
I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.
They need to make their instructions to us Seniors a little clearer! :laughing::confused3:

 

[Mousefield]

brin, that's a good one. :thumbsup: :laughing::laughing::laughing:

 

[mjarrels]

Actually a pet peeve of mine. Out of the hundreds of card swipe machines in use, no two stores seem to have the same kind?

mark

 

[lockhaven]

I had a similar problem as a young man. wife wanted to join a very conservative church. we went to the first class and the minister said that we must remain sex free for the duration of the classes to be admitted into the church. we went back in 4 weeks heads hung low in shame. Minister asked what happened, I had to confess, first week was not so bad, second week was getting bad, third week almost impossible, forth week she was bending over the freezer getting out some frozen peas, I could not resist and did the dastardly deed. The minister said sorry but you cannot come in any longer, I told him that was exactly what the man at the supper market said.

 

[chad22]

My trip to the grocery grocery store
There was a bit of confusion at the store this morning. When I was ready to pay for my groceries, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."
Making a mental note to complain to my congressman about Homeland Security running amok, I did just as she had instructed.
When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to my credit card.
I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.
They need to make their instructions to us Seniors a little clearer! :laughing::confused3:

XD. I would have stripped down too. Wish I was there.

Chad

 

[chad22]

I had a similar problem as a young man. wife wanted to join a very conservative church. we went to the first class and the minister said that we must remain sex free for the duration of the classes to be admitted into the church. we went back in 4 weeks heads hung low in shame. Minister asked what happened, I had to confess, first week was not so bad, second week was getting bad, third week almost impossible, forth week she was bending over the freezer getting out some frozen peas, I could not resist and did the dastardly deed. The minister said sorry but you cannot come in any longer, I told him that was exactly what the man at the supper market said.

That's hilarious too. :laughing:

This reminds me. We once went to a food Pantry at a Church when we lived in Arkansas, and when we got the food home. You know what we found amongst the food? About 20 packs of Condoms. :confused3: They were giving away condoms along with the food at a food pantry.

Chad

 

[bcp]

Shopping story-found on the internet:
----------------------------------------
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her shopping trips. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women – she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local store.



Dear Mrs. Aarp,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Aarp, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1) June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s carts when they weren’t looking.

2) July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals. .

3) July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.

4) July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away’. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5) August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6) August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

7) August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8) August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’ EMTs were called.

9) September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10) September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11) October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ‘Mission Impossible’ theme.

12) October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna look’ by using different sizes of funnels.

13) October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled ‘PICK ME PICK ME!’

14) October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!’

And last, but not least:

15) October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here.’ One of the clerks passed out.

 

[Taylortractornut]

My younger brother worked for Lowes while he was in college. Anyway Lowes at the time was selling the big round fiber glass storm shelters. THey had a unit on the ground bolted down. I was meant to be buried so the basement stairs were up in the air and they had a wooden stair way up to them. One day this old man walked up to my brother outside and asked where the restroom was. He pointed all the way to the back, the old man wa in his late 70's and looked at my brother and said he ll I cant make that and took off up the storm pod ladder. Relieved himself on the floor of the pod and wiped with the printed sales brochure.


Brother said thank God for seniority that day. A few years ago our Walmart tried to go 24/7. A friend of mine was working there and standing at a ample booth he was sampleing these potporri sticks that looked like chew toys. They went in a little boiler like a small crock pot. HE made an off comment to me and while back in the pet isle I found an opened bag of rawhide chew toys. I walked by is booth and dropped in the chew toy. About 10 minutes later it smelt of a rendering house.